Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Being at peace as I was finally writing it down

I haven't been at peace today.  I have had thoughts about infidelity and religion.  No matter what, I realize that avoidance is not possible for me.  I watch television and just enjoy life.  I would like to and slowly embrace my thoughts.  It has been difficult to do.  I don't know why, but I find it interesting that I can embrace the thought that I have obsessions and crushes on other people, yet I have a hard time doing so for infidelity.  Maybe all I have to accept willingly that I don't have any issues with infidelity and religion.  I am no longer worried right now.  I have accepted the thought that I am born again and that whatever is going on, I can embrace that fact.  I am to think on things that are true, just, honest, lovely, pure, and of good report.  I interpret this as thinking on the things of God.  Worry and anxiety have done me no good, neither have compulsions.  I wonder how many people does the person sleep with or rather cheat with and why they do it.  I realize that it only matters to those who are directly connected to the sad situation.  It really has nothing to do with my life so it doesn't affect me personally.  The problem is that it does seem to have an effect on me personally.  I feel a lot better about this now.  What kind of people are adulterers?  I guess I will never know; it no longer matters.  I guess I am finally embracing these thoughts.  However, I guess whether fictional or whether it is based on a real story, OCD doesn't have to be scary.  The scenarios don't have to be scary.  They really are bullies yet they have never harmed me.  I am finally okay and I hope that I have written that it finally comes to mind.
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