Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Simple advice

There is nothing in the world like taking simple advice seriously.  I have realized that in the past that is all I have done.  I have worried about the present more so because I stayed stuck in the past.  I am this and that and the other.  The problem was not really who I am, but I was stuck tn my past.  I am no longer in my 20s and 30s.  Now that I am in my 40s, I have grown older and wiser.  I have learned that as a person in my early 40s, I am young enough, but I am not so young that I cannot learn from the mistakes I have made in the past, not even the more recent past.  All I have is the present moment and plans to make about the rest of my life.  If my current path doesn't pan out, then be thankful for the moment and learn from it.  I have learned that that is all I can do.

Monday, May 22, 2017

"Shackles" by Mary Mary



Whoo!
It sure is hot out here
Ya know?
I don't mind thought
Just glad to be free
Know what I'm saying, uh!
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
(What'cha wanna do?)
I just wanna praise you
(Yeah, yeah)
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
(Uh feel me?)
And I'm gonna praise you
(What'cha gon do?)
I'm gonna praise you
In the corners of mind
I just can't seem to find a reason to believe
That I can break free
Cause you see I have been down for so long
Feel like the hope is gone
But as I lift my hands, I understand
That I should praise you through my circumstance
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you
Everything that could go wrong
All went wrong at one time
So much pressure fell on me
I thought I was gon lose my mind
But I know you wanna see
If I will hold on through these trials
But I need you to lift this load
Cause I can't take it anymore
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you
Been through the fire and the rain
Bound in every kind of way
But God has broken every chain
So let me go right now
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you
[repeat x3]
Take them off
What'cha gonna do, yeah
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you

Saturday, May 20, 2017

No longer stuck in the past

Right now, I have come realize that I have been living in the past for far too long.  It has held me back from what I am supposed and need to do not what I want to do.  I have wanted to go back to school.  I have not finished school and I wished to go back.  I have made mistakes and missteps, and have committed sins.  How many people know that living in sin can hold us back?  I realized that I have limited God over the years.  It has been because I have been stuck in the past.  I am at an age where I wish to discover new things.  I am a grown up, yet I have not progressed.  It is as if I am still a youth.  I have felt bad about myself for years, but now, I want to stop living in the past.  The past is gone.  It is no more.  Those mistakes are what i have allowed to hold me back.  My life and life in general, is too precious to stay comfortable.  It is time for me to get out of my comfort zone.  That would make things so much freer.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Changing the Past

Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna
Published on July 2011
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

 Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna  

Published on July 2011

The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna
Published on July 2011
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna
Published on July 2011
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna
Published on July 2011
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna
Published on July 2011
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna
Published on July 2011
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna
Published on July 2011
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

Changing The Past

© Donna more by Donna
Published on July 2011
The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don't get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

Because the past is the past for a reason
It's been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It's done, it's unchangeable, move on


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/changing-the-past

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

"Getting outside of myself"..

I have a confession to make.  I have a crush on a guy.  I have wondered if I were too old to have a crush on a guy.  I am over 40 and I wish to be married someday.  I thought I was a grown up and as far as a number, I am.  However, there is a part of me that is still childish and self absorbed.  I tend to be a selfish person at times.  I often pray more for myself than I do for other people.  That is just so sad.  I am a Christian.  How can I be so self absorbed?  My real guess is that I have great difficulty praying for other people.  I am always in a hurry to leave.  I lack patience since it is not one of my virtues.  I want to learn and grow and finally grow up.  I have become too concerned with my own life and wrapped up in my own problems.  Ironically, I am writing about myself in this blog right now.  Not only is it time for me to stop being so self absorbed but to start seeing myself and the world for what it truly is and see people for who they truly are.  I have formed opinions based on romantic notions or on what I have heard.  Sadly I have realized that after all of these years that it is no way to live.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

My life in my 40s

It has obviously been a while since I have blogged any entries.  Sometimes there comes a time in a person's life when one has to bite the bullet.  This is my moment of biting the bullet and create a few blog entries. I have just been exhausted mentally and just stopped caring.  I don't know if it has gotten mundane or something else.  I have been this way for a while now.  It has been a long while.  I have gotten older and wiser, but the truth is, I cannot change the past and there are things that I wish to have back.  What I'm saying is while I wish that I would have the drive and energy I once had, I don't want to go back to that nor do I wish to be less wise than I am now.  I finally realize that I am typing this, I finally realize what it means to, while I am still young, my youth is gone.  I am at an age where with age, comes wisdom and a greater confidence than I have ever known.  I want to be more committed to my goals and start caring again.  I am at an age where I have the best of all worlds.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

"Walk Right Now" by The Jacksons



Here, when all my work is done, babe
She calls and she says
Dear, can I come
I say to her
That you know our love has gone
But agressive heart
No, really not the one
She comes to the door
Crying at my feet
Guilt shines in her eyes
As she slowly sinks in deep

You know our love couldn't last forever
Persuade your way
But you ain't clever
I close the door and I say never

(I don't care)
What you're saying
(Walk right now)
I ain't playing
(Love elsewhere)
For you I'm praying
(Don't look back)
You ain't staying

Here, I'm crying
I can't sleep
I sigh
'Cause I thought this would never be
I say ooh
I'm screaming out for someone
And now she's knochin' on the door for me
She just won't leave me alone
She wants to speak with me
And persuade me in her arms
And now she's calling on the phone for me
Oh, just won't leave me alone

Deep down inside she's trying to be clever
To love once more then leave me forever
I close the door and I say never

(I don't care)
What you're saying
(Walk right now)
I ain't playing
(Love elsewhere)
For you I'm praying
(Don't look back)
You ain't staying

(I don't care)
What you're saying
(Walk right now)
What you're doing to me
(Love elsewhere)
What you're doing to me
(Don't look back)
Wooo!

I try so hard to cope with you
I can't bear the things you put me through
To love as friends
No, I wish that we could see
But persuasive heart
Just won't let pure friendship be

You know our love couldn't last forever
Persuade your way
But you ain't clever
I close the door and I say never

(I don't care)
What you're saying
(Walk right now)
I ain't playing
(Love elsewhere)
For you I'm praying
(Don't look back)
You ain't staying

(I don't care)
What you're saying
(Walk right now)
I ain't playing
(Love elsewhere)
For you I'm praying
(Don't look back)
What you're doing to me

(I don't care)
What you're doing to me
(Walk right now)
What you're doing to me
(Love elsewhere)
What you're doing to me
(Don't look back)
Wooo!

No, babe

(I don't care)
(Walk right now)
(Love elsewhere)
(Don't look back)
(I don't care)
(Walk right now)
(Love elsewhere)
(Don't look back)
(I don't care)

Friday, May 5, 2017

"Mind the Gap" by Nabiha



Isn't it funny
I like to dance when I'm on my own
And whenever it's sunny, yeah
You know I don't wanna stay at home
I fly in my dreams almost every night
And I'mma be down with Miss Marple for life, eh
It's the incidental things
That makes me who I am

Mind the gap, mind the girl
Have another drink on me
Grab a seat, in the world
Yeah have it your way
I don't give a damn about the looks I bear
Even when it snows I'm wearing flowers in my hair
Mind the gap, mind the girl

Laughin' is easy
But I cry when I watch the news
Not everything's peachy, no
But just keep a good attitude
My friends know I always run late on a plan
And I like a good man with humor and warm hands
It's the incidental things
That makes me who I am

Mind the gap, mind the girl
Have another drink on me
Grab a seat, in the world
Yeah have it your way
I don't give a damn about the looks I bear
Even when it snows I'm wearing flowers in my hair
Mind the gap, mind the girl

Gotta do somethin' crazy
At least once a day
It's good for you baby
Sugar for the brain
Peace

C'mon y'all

Mind the gap, mind the girl
Have another drink on me
Grab a seat, in the world
Yeah have it your way
I don't give a damn about the looks I bear
Even when it snows I'm wearing flowers in my hair
Mind the gap, mind the girl




Thursday, May 4, 2017

"That's Why" by The Party-MMC


Ha ha ha ha
Well I tell ya
How old are we again?

[Chorus:]
That's why (baby, baby, baby)
That's why I've got to see you again (see you again girl)
That's why (baby, baby, baby)
That's why I've got to see you again (see you again)
Sometimes I get lost in my confusion
It's something that I need to talk about
Old romance is just an old illusion
Don't you know we could have worked this out
I see your face - and not just 'cause I'm lonely

I can't erase the touch of your hand
It's you I need and you that I want only
I'm tryin' baby just as hard as I can

[Repeat chorus]

Baby if you'll only take a listen
To my heart then I know you'll understand
One moment is worth all the forgiving
I'll never leave you darling never again
I've reached out to wherever you may be now
Why you turn your back I can't understand
So now I'm searchin' for words to make you see how
I love you just as much as any man can

[Repeat chorus]

So listen to me girl - we've been around the world
And we still need each other desperately
I'll make it up to you - do what you want me to
If you will bring your lovin' back to me
I see your face - and not just 'cause I'm lonely
Just want to feel the touch of your hand
It's you I need and you that I want only
I'm tryin' darlin' just as hard as I can
Listen girl, I need you desperately
I'll make it up to you
So listen to me girl - we've been around the worldand we still need each other desperately
And I'll make it up to you - do all that I can do
If you will bring your lovin' back to me

[Repeat chorus]

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Later on..

I have tried to consume a 1200 calorie a day diet.  However, that has been more difficult than I thought.  I would usually write this down in another blog, but I realize that it will be okay to write in this blog as well.  I do complain a lot and I was just too tired to fill in anything.  As you can tell from reading this, I am just too tired.  My brain hurts.  I will be okay though.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

My life's plans

I have prayed about my life.  The truth is, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.  I wish to plan out my life.  The sad part is that I have no clue where to begin.  I realize that life seemed to be past over.  I am woman in her 40s who still doesn't know what she wants when she grows up.  I am concerned about this.  This has been an issue with me for a while.  I realize that maybe I should have done this years ago.  Well, now is as good a time as any.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Personal interpretation of Deuteronomy 12:1-4

  1“These are the statutes and the judgments which you shall carefully observe in the land which the LORD, the God of your fathers, has given you to possess as long as you live on the earth. 2“You shall utterly destroy all the places where the nations whom you shall dispossess serve their gods, on the high mountains and on the hills and under every green tree. 3“You shall tear down their altars and smash their sacred pillars and burn their Asherim with fire, and you shall cut down the engraved images of their gods and obliterate their name from that place. 4“You shall not act like this toward the LORD your God."

I have not only shown respect to the Lord by the way I was acting.  I didn't realize that idolatry was a sin that I have committed.  I have since repented of that sin.  I didn't realize that allowing myself to be caught up in the things of the world would constitute idolatry, but it doesn't.  Not spending enough time could be an example of idolatry.  I am very guilty of that form of idolatry.  My time like other idolaters has not been spent on the Lord, but on whoever or whatever is in the world.  That whoever and whatever was a high place that needed to be broken down.  The altars wasn't' in my house but in my mind.  That was not about anxiety, so I won't use that as an excuse.  It was about a choice that I made, which did in turn, cause even greater anxiety.  The Lord wants the divided attention of all of us, no matter where we are at.  My hope is that I am not misinterpreting the Word of God.  Being sacred is about being of God, not of the world.  I have not kept some things sacred and I have since repented of this.  I take full responsibility of my sins.  This I am writing because the Lord is Jealous and wants not just our worship, but our undivided attention. 

Friday, April 28, 2017

Make (ALL) America Great Again

My hope is that the President of the US will be led by the Lord.  I believe that he was put here for a reason.  Do the Russians really have anything to the fact that President Obama will be no more? How about us voters.  Didn't we have enough votes to elect Donald Trump.  I don't know how he will do, but my hope is that he will take his job seriously.  It is a thankless enough job.  I am leery of politicians, so my prayer is that Mr. Trump will truly make ALL of America Great Again.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Currently, I am...

Right now, I have some serious rib pain.  Okay, it is on my back, but still it is painful with some movements more so than others.  I am also watching the NFL Draft.  I wonder which team will choose which college player.  Who knows?  It will be interesting.  Whoever becomes the number one draft pick will be a lucky one.  However, that does not mean he will have a blessed career. Sometimes, it is about the luck of the draw.  Other times, it is about actually making the right choices in life.  They often determine which way each of us will go.  In eternity, there are only two directions: up or down.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Feeling Overwhelmed is Nothing New by Yesenia Ramos

I get overwhelmed by the idea that
there are people much more successful, happier, and powerful than me
It makes me feel smaller than the smallest grain of sand in the big sahara
Because I can't be such things
I get overwhelmed by the idea of looking different, being a outsider
It's a helpless feeling
Like a fish out of water
Like a newborn baby
Like a deer in headlights
Lost, trapped, confined, unimportant, imprisoned

I get overwhelmed by the fact that my disease is life-shortening
The fear of imminent death stabs my mind and thoughts
It has me desperate to find a cure for this monstrous disability
Every faith-healer, I bet you I've gone to
Hoping I'll be one of those miraculous cases of people who turn out to walk; those cases that come on TV
Always in the end the bad starts to overwhelm me intensely
My mind fills up with thoughts of sadness
I want to be happy
But i don't know how to keep happiness permanently
Nothing in my life is permanent
Not even my abilities
I get overwhelmed 365 days a year

allpoetry.com

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Jealousy and True Love

Psalm 31:23

"Love the LORD, all his faithful people! The LORD preserves those who are true to him, but the proud he pays back in full."

Love is something that is not jealous.  Furthermore, jealousy is about fear and about coveting.  I guess.  I am trying to be wise.  Furthermore, I am trying to be right about the interpretation of God's Word.  One of the worst thing anyone can do is to misinterpret scripture.  That I believe is why false prophets and false teachers are flourishing in the planet.  They deceive the flock by twisting the Word of God for often times financial gain.  Where is the love in deception, much less jealousy?  The only jealousy that is not about fear and coveting is about the Jealousy of God.  We are to not just be true, but to love God with all of our hearts, souls, minds, and strengths.  All of it.  God is a Jealous God who wants us to divide all of our attentions to Him.  After all, Jesus paid all of His attention to us. That is what I finally realize today.  We as Christians are to be Jealous for the Lord, because He is Jealous towards us.  That is what true love is all about.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

I Have a Testimony


My Testimony:

Here is my testimony:
Hello, I have been writing a testimony about my life. I first became born again in 1994. It has been an interesting journey. I thanked God and still do, thank Him for saving me. My life has had many ups and downs. My testimony will be like many Christians who have been diagnosed with an emotional disorder. 

I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder on February 19, 1994. I was at first diagnosed with depression because of what has been going on with me. Within a week or two, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was actually relieved. For a long time, I felt like I was going crazy. I had suicidal thoughts almost on a daily basis. My personality changed with my moods. My relationships with others suffered. My grades went down. I would walk out of class and oftentimes, I wouldn't make even show up for class. Not long before, I had never walked out of class unless there was an excuse such as a medical emergency. My grades were decent-I was on the honor roll. I graduated in the top 5 of my high school class. I was a happy 18-year old who enjoyed going to college. Life was good. However, I didn't know that depression during those days would be a precursor to my worst year ever.

Life became a total wreck. By this time, people began to turn on me. I have thought of elaborate ways that I wanted to die. I had a rough time dealing with what was going on around me. I began to obsess about a particular guy that I got along with. All of a sudden, a little crush turned into an obsession. I made a fool out of myself. The worst part of it was that others knew as well. Everything seemed negative. I did care about what others think. But then, I started praying a long prayer to God. What I didn't realize is that that prayer would be the beginning to a journey that would forever change my life. Things haven't improved, not until September 10, 1994. I prayed to ask Jesus to come into my heart twice on advice of a friend. I wasn't sure if He heard me. But that day was a miracle in itself. I didn't think I was well-liked or had many friends. But then, I realized who my real friends are. I am thankful that God showed me who they were that way. I really needed them then. 

What I didn't realize was that I needed God. It was around 1:00 or so that afternoon and I went up to a friend's room. I knew that she was a born-again Christian and I started talking to her about all of my problems. I met two other girls, one of them was a freshmen at that time. I literally cried a river and poured out my heart. I was a lonely young woman. I knew it. Then she asked me if I believe that Jesus died for me and that if I believed that Jesus rose on the third day. I told her that I did. Then she mentioned the word "friends". It clicked. That was all I remember from that question. However, I have told her that I will get saved later on that I wanted to go somewhere. Her warning was to me that tomorrow was promised to no one. These were not her exact words, but that is what she meant. I am so glad that I did not hesitate. I prayed with her to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I saw a mental picture of cherub-like angels on a blue background. It was a mental painting almost. Everything seemed different. Things were brighter. One of the girls remarked that I even looked different. God took my pain away. He had started me on a new journey. And for that I praise God. Life is better. I still have my share of problems, but all Christians have their share of problems. Christians will be persecuted for their faith. I went from barely reading the Bible from reading and studying the Bible daily. I prayed mostly in need, but I pray daily. I have changed. Within a year from that day, I transferred to a new school and graduated two years later. I have learned how to handle my problems better. Over time, I have grown to depend on God daily. I have become interested in different things. I have become a different person. I have become wiser, and I thank God for that.

Monday, April 17, 2017

"I Won't Let You Fall" (Lean on Me) by Helen Miller



Jesus said if you lean on me
Jesus said you can lean on me
Jesus said if you lean on me
And I won’t let you fall, if you just lean on me
Jesus said if you - lean on me
Jesus said if you just - lean on me
Oh! Jesus said you can - lean on me
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall if you lean on me
Oh! I will bare your burdens if you - lean on me
Oh! I’ll bare your burdens if you just - lean on me
Oh! I know how to bare your burdens you can - lean on me
I won’t let you fall, oh; I won’t let you fall if you lean on me
And when the load gets heavy you can - lean on me
Oh! When the load gets heavy you can - lean on me
Oh! When the load gets heavy you can always - lean on me

I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall if you lean on me
Oh! Jesus said if you - lean on me
Oh! Jesus said if you just - lean on me
Oh! I heard Jesus say you can - lean on me
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall if you lean on me
Instrumental Only - Music
Drums, Tambourine and clapping only this section
You don’t if to worry if you - lean on me
Oh! You don’t have to worry if you - lean on me
Oh! You don’t have to worry if you just - lean on me
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
I promise not to let you fall; I won’t let you fall
I promise not to let you fall; I won’t let you fall
I know how to hold you; I won’t let you fall
I know how to hold you; I won’t let you fall
If you just lean on me; I won’t let you fall
You can just lean on me; I won’t let you fall
In the midnight hour; I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
You can lean on me; I won’t let you fall
You can lean on me; I won’t let you fall
When a load get heavy; I won’t let you fall
When your load get heavy; I won’t let you fall
I’ll bare your burdens; I won’t let you fall
I’ll bare your burdens; I won’t let you fall
Drums, Tambourine and clapping only this section
My yokes is easy; I won’t let you fall
My burden is light; I won’t let you fall
I don’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
You can lean on me; I won’t let you fall
You can lean on me; I won’t let you fall
When everybody else is gone; I won’t let you fall
You can lean on me; I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you; I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you; I won’t let you fall
No! I won’t let you; I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you; I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
Never, never let you fall; I won’t let you fall
If you lean on me; I won’t let you fall
If you lean on me; I won’t let you fall
I’ll be there; I won’t let you fall
I’ll be there; I won’t let you fall
I’ll never leave you; I won’t let you fall
I’ll never forsake you; I won’t let you fall
Come on and lean on me; I won’t let you fall
Come on and lean on me; I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
Oh, No! I won’t let you fall
Oh, No! I won’t let you fall
Come on and give Him praise – Instrumental Only Section
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
Oh, No! I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you fall
You can depend on me; I won’t let you fall
You can lean on me; I won’t let you fall
You can trust in me; I won’t let you fall if you lean on me
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Oh thank you Lord!
Thank you that I got somebody to lean on
Thank you that I got a leaning post
Thank you that I’m not on my own, oh Lordy - Hallelujah

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Random musings

I am now listening to Sia's "Chandelier".  This has been my song this past weekend.  I get to ramble and ramble on.

Seth Rollins is so fine.  Too bad he has become a mere distraction.  I never thought I would have a crush on him.  I sound so rude, didn't I?  Sorry, but he is still fine.

I am okay with my weight.  However, I have to admit that I need to do more work before 9AM all day.  Sure, I'm not a soldier, so to all soldiers, thank you for your service.  You are the reason why our country is still free.  Thank You.

I am still listening to Sia's "Chandelier".  Where have I been?

Today is Easter.  Thank You, Jesus, last, but certainly not least.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Modern songs (2008-2017)

 "Chandelier" by Sia


 "Take Me to Church" by Hozier


 "Thy Will Be Done" by Hillary Scott and The Scott Family


 "Just Be Held" by Casting Crowns


 "Trust in You" by Lauren Daigle


 "Go Get It" by Mary Mary


 "Intentional" by Travis Greene




Friday, April 14, 2017

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Prophecies about Jesus

"From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life."
Matthew 16:21

"When they came together in Galilee, he said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men."
Matthew 17:22

"He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again."
Mark 8:31

"They were on their way up to Jerusalem, with Jesus leading the way, and the disciples were astonished, while those who followed were afraid. Again he took the Twelve aside and told them what was going to happen to him."
Mark 10:32

"Who has believed what he has heard from us?1
And to whom has hthe arm of the Lord been revealed?
2 For he grew up before him like a young plant,
iand like a root out of dry ground;
jhe had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
3 kHe was despised and rejected2 by men,
a man of sorrows 3 and acquainted with4 grief;5
and as one from whom men hide their faces6
he was despised, and lwe esteemed him not.
4 mSurely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
nsmitten by God, and afflicted.
5 oBut he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
pand with his wounds we are healed.
6 qAll we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
rand the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
syet he opened not his mouth;
tlike a ulamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away;
and as for his generation, vwho considered
that he was cut off out of the land of the living,
stricken for the transgression of my people?
9 And they made his grave with the wicked
wand with a rich man in his death,
although xhe had done no violence,
and there was no deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet yit was the will of the Lord to crush him;
he has put him to grief;7
zwhen his soul makes8 an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
athe will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see9 and be satisfied;
by his knowledge shall bthe righteous one, my servant,
cmake many to be accounted righteous,
dand he shall bear their iniquities.
12 eTherefore I will divide him a portion with the many,10
fand he shall divide the spoil with the strong,11
because he poured out his soul to death
and was numbered with the transgressors;
gyet he bore the sin of many,
and makes intercession for the transgressors."
Isaiah 53:1-12

9 I, John, your brother and companion in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Jesus, was on the island of Patmos because of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus. 10 On the Lord’s Day I was in the Spirit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet, 11 which said: “Write on a scroll what you see and send it to the seven churches: to Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis,Philadelphia and Laodicea.”
12 I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, 13 and among the lampstandswas someone like a son of man,[d] dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. 14 The hair on his head was white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. 15 His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. 16 In his right hand he held seven stars,and coming out of his mouth was a sharp, double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.
17 When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. 18 I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.
19 “Write, therefore, what you have seen, what is now and what will take place later. 20 The mystery of the seven stars that you saw in my right hand and of the seven golden lampstands is this: The seven stars are the angels[e] of the seven churches, and the seven lampstands are the seven churches.
Revelation 1:9-19

Monday, April 10, 2017

"A Girl Like You" by Edwyn Collins

  "A Girl Like You" by Edwyn Collins 

I've never known a girl like you before
Now, just like in a song from days of yore
Here you come a-knocking, knocking on my door
And I've never met a girl like you before

You give me just a taste so I want more
Now my hands are bleeding and my knees are raw
'Cause now you got me crawling, crawling on the floor
And I've never known a girl like you before

You made me acknowledge the devil in me
I hope to God I'm talking metaphorically
Hope that I'm talking alegorically
Know that I'm talking about the way I feel
And I've never known a girl like you before
Never, never, never, never
Never known a girl like you before

This old town's changed so much
Don't feel that I belong
Too many protest singers
Not enough protest songs
And now you've come along
Yes, you've come along
And I've never met a girl like you before





Sunday, April 9, 2017

Grant me patience, Lord.

Right now, my mouse has the nasty habit of freezing up.  I hate when I have to fix up this issue.  It is a necessary evil, but it has to be done.  I realize that despite that, I have a few problems of my own.  I mean, a few other issues that I have to contend with.  Lord, I could use all of the help I can get. I ask that You would grant me the patience that I so very need..

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Blondes with dark skin








It may be hypocritical of me to even have an opinion on this subject.  I am a black person who would love to have blonde hair, even for a little while.  There has always been a person of color who has often been accused of self-hatred because they dye their hair blonde.  As I wrote that last sentence, I notice the hypocrisy.  Should it matter if a woman of color with dark skin dye her hair blonde?  No, it shouldn't matter.  If blonde hair, like any other color looks good on her and if it doesn't "wash her out", then nobody should say anything.  Since when does blonde equal only one race or color?  There are Arabs and other Middle Easterners, South Asians, Melanesians, Australian Aborigines, East Asians and those from Africa who are blondes.  I use this to add to what I believe is true.  These women are not white and I feel that because they are black women who dye their hair blonde does not give anyone the right to pass judgment or criticize.  No blonde of color should have to justify dying their hair blonde.  Blonde is a hair color, though largely inherited, but it is only a color at the end of the day.


Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Last night's WWE Raw after Wrestlemania


















Those are only parts of what has happened last night on RAW.  Because of this, I look forward to Smackdown.  Unlike RAW, Smackdown only lasts two hours instead of three.  Hopefully the crowd would be as raucous (for a lack of a better term) as they were last night.  The crowd was live last night.  Either one loved the crowd or hated the crowd.  One thing is for sure: nearly all of them hated Roman Reigns.


Monday, April 3, 2017

Pics from Wrestlemania 33








All I all, I wish I could say that it was a top notch show from top to bottom, but it had its moments. The best part were some of the matches and highlights.  It is too bad that the IC Title match was on the preshow.  It would be nice if it were on the actual show.  Oh, well, I will have to settle with Dean Ambrose and Baron Corbin sometime near Wrestlemania.  I cannot, however imagine the indignity of being called a curtain jerker at such an important event, for an important title nevertheless.  I realize that everyone can't fit on a specific card and that everyone on the roster cannot be on even the preshow, but Wrestlemania had way too many matches and thus the worst part, it was just too long.  I give the talent an A for effort, but the timing of the event is what hurt the entire show.  It was over five hours long.  Wow.  I hope to never stay for five hours at an event where anything even bad can happen, but that hope was dashed.  I did so.  So, I would rank the ppv in general 6.5 out of 10.  The length of the ppv took much of my enjoyment and a couple of the matches seemed underwhelming. I expected better and I have seen better from some of the performers on television.



Friday, March 31, 2017

My overall view on music

I just have a deep love of music.  Who doesn't, but somehow music connects me to my problems and my emotions like nothing have.  I am trying to express why music is something I get lost in.  I sometimes listen to music when the mood hits me.  However, music makes me normal.  Being bipolar, there is always this line between what is normal and what is not.  It bridges things like emotions, thoughts, and what is going on in the world.  I am so glad that there is such thing as music.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

I miss the 90s

 "All Night Long" by Faith Evans


 "Can We Talk" by Tevin Campbell



 "Candy Rain" by Soul for Real


 "The Things You Do" by Gina Thompson with Missy Elliott


 "Like This and Like That" by Monica and Mr. Malik


 "Freak Like Me" by Adina Howard




Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Sorry for yesterday.

I was and will be on a break until tomorrow.  I am okay and I will be back.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

I Miss the '80s...that's is what great music

 "Don't Stop The Music" by Yarborough & Peoples


 "Just Be Good To Me" by SOS Band


 "Saturday Love" by Cherelle ft. Alexander O'neal


 "Love Come Down" by Evelyn Champagne King


 "I Feel For You" by Chaka Khan


 "Set it Off" by Strafe




Saturday, March 25, 2017

"It is Well" by Kristine DiMarco and Bethel Music



Verse 1
Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard

Chorus
And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And through it all, through it all
It is well
And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me

Verse 2
Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can't see
And this mountain that's in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

Chorus
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And it is well
It is well

Bridge x3
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name (repeat last line during 3rd run)

It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well it is well with my soul x3

Chorus (softly slowly)
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And it is well with me.






Friday, March 24, 2017

Unpopular Wrestling Opinions 3

I liked the Main Event Mafia, especially when they hosted "Impact" that one night.

I think that Willow is such a cool gimmick; it would be even cooler if Jeff Hardy (Brother Nero) would disguise himself that way on WWE TV (provided they will sign).

While she is a great heel, at one time I thought Maryse was a two-move wonder in the ring; she just wasn't very good.

Hopefully, it was sweet and to the point.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Reflection about music

Lately, I have been posting up videos with lyrics in them.  You will find good music no matter what label, whether or not it is independent or mainstream.  That is why I like to look for good music in sites like aurgasm.us.  Music is music.  Some of it I will listen to hundreds of times in my lifetime; there are songs which I wish to avoid.  I have posted up songs that I like.  I guess that we like what we like could very well be true.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

"Walking Into Sunshine" by Central Line



Baby I was thinking what did you give me that was really good
And the answer came loud and clear
All the love that you could give
It was love love love love
That you gave to me you gave it to me
It was love love love love love
That you gave to me
You gave it to me
And you really loved me the way you touched me
I'm so glad you're mine…
Gotta believe me don't deceive me
It would surely break my heart if we fell apart…
You gave me love you gave me love
You gave me love you gave me love
Baby I was the for you …love you had to give me
From the first time I met you there I knew that you would be my destiny
It was love love love love love that you gave to me you gave it to me
It was love love love love love that you gave to me you gave it to me
And the way you love me the way you touch me
You sent shivers down my spine I'm so glad your mine
Gotta believe me don't deceive me
It would surely break my heart if we fell apart…
You gave me love you gave me love
You gave me love you gave me love
Wooh-ooh-ooh-oohoo
Wooh-ooh-ooh-oohoo
Wooh-ooh-ooh-oohoo
Wooh-ooh-ooh-oohoo
Wooh-ooh-ooh-oohoo
Wooh-ooh-ooh-oohoo
Wooh-ooh-ooh-oohoo

Monday, March 20, 2017

"There is a lily in the valley" by John P. Kee and VIP Seminar Mass Choir



Verse 1:
There's a lily in the valley(in the valley)
Bright as the morning star
There is a lily in the valley(in the
valley)
Bright as the morning star
There is a lily in the valley(in the
valley)
Bright as the morning star
Amen(3x)

Verse 2:
Joy it's in the valley(in the valley)
Bright as the morning star
Somebody found joy in the valley(in the
valley)
Bright as the morning star
Somebody found joy in the valley(in the
valley)
Bright as the morning star
Amen(3x)

Verse 3:
Somebody found jesus in the valley(in the
valley)
Bright as the morning star
Somebody found jesus in the valley(in the
valley)
Bright as the morning star
Somebody found jesus in the valley(in the
valley)
Bright as the morning star
Amen(3x)

Verse 4:
Somebody found peace in the valley(in the
valley)
Bright as the morning star
Somebody found joy in the valley(in the
valley)
Bright as the morning star
Somebody found love in the valley(in the
valley)
Bright as the morning star
Amen(3x)
Lyrics found <a href="http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/john-p.-kee-lyrics/lily-in-the-valley-lyrics.html">here</a>

Saturday, March 18, 2017

How the hair color would look on me...finally

Well, I dyed my hair this morning.  It was yes, burgundy in color.  However, it wasn't like what it looked liked on the box or in the pictures I posted up for the past couple of days.  I guess I was expecting a lighter hue than what I have.  I have jet black hair and well, while I like the color, it ended up a very dark cherry color.  That is like a cross between an onyx with a red tinge and a cherry brown.  But like I have said, I am digging the hair color.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

How would I look with burgundy hair?






I am a person with curly hair, dark skin, and naturally black hair.  I wonder how I would look with burgundy hair.  I would like to know this.  I just feel like I needed a change.  I have thought about this for a while now.  I have wondered that what were to happen if I were to have a tongue ring or a nose ring.  I have just wanted to but didn't have the courage to, experiment.  Right now, having burgundy hair is just a way to experiment.  It isn't a radical experiment, but I believe that I could pull it off.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Reflections about my own life and being my age

Hi.  I am at an age where some may consider me middle aged.  Maybe true.  I can go far back enough to recall not having so many followers but had just friends.  Friends, true friends, may be a rarity but at least they are one of a kind...or two.  I had to go back too and wonder now if there are things I wish I had the foresight to do then that I want to do now.  Maybe I am not so young, but I am not yet in the stage where I am no longer in my prime years.  I am no longer a teenager, but I didn't grow up listening to 70s music as a child.  I grew up on the 80s and 90s and even they seem like simpler times.  John Cena probably was in diapers when Ric Flair and Steamboat had their first match. Seeing a celebrity walk down a parade because he or she had the number one show on television. Some of my favorite gadgets had nothing to do with websites.  Thankfully, there were no such thing as revenge porn, or videos where people are getting beat up posted online daily.  Life was simpler to me at least.  Sadly, there have always been criminals, racism, poverty, and politicians being all talk, sure. However, I remember being bullied in school and getting beaten by my parents.  By the time I was a teenager, all was forgiven.  Anyways, I turned out okay.  Thankfully, my mother never had to see me being exposed by a "friend", an ex, or have her expose me as a "bad kid" for all of the world to see.  I got hurt on the playground, kids were active, and grown ups didn't seem so agitated and so "PC" all the time.  I guess because I'm not a mom, I wouldn't know about worrying so much about my kids' safety.  But I do remember as a kid, my mom and dad were there and they did worry, and they did watch out and they did discipline my brother and me.  But life in general seemed different like almost yesterday.  I am just a grown up who had probably thought that this reflection of my life is like many others, is telling the truth, good, bad, and ugly.  But I was hoping that things would never change, but as I get older life is seen differently, but truth and memories, will always stay the same.