Thursday, May 30, 2013

Why can't men and women learn to love and respect one another?

Why do we hurt one another?  I hate that people hurt one another.  Vowing revenge is not the answer.  I find all of this quite disturbing.  I do not like it when we hurt each other.

It is about the female v male dynamic.  I think it is disgusting when a man vows revenge on a woman online.  I think it is disgusting when a woman destroys a man's life and character online.  It seems like the internet has given people an extra outlet to be nasty.  I wish we as adults would just grow up and move on.  I guess it is easier said than done.  It speaks of immaturity and a lack of character on the avenger's part.  That is just how I feel about it.

I am here to write that I wish that men and women would at least try to get along.  There is so much that we as humans can do to heal one another.  There is so much hatred, enmity, dishonesty, and a lack of communication towards one another.  It seems as if though chivalry and respect has all but died.  That is so so sad.

Why can't men just move on and not vow revenge when a woman hurts them?  Why can't he grow up?  Why can't a woman not try to expose or kill a man, or at least tries to?  I understand anger and hurt, but there is no more sorry excuse than all is fair in love and war.  Wrong is still wrong no matter what. 

Where is our sense of morality?  I find myself caught up in this because it is a sad state of affairs.  Men should be gentlemen, but many are not.  Women should be ladies and carry themselves well just as we wish a man would do the same thing, but many of us don't.  We as humans have made excuses, lie, and just do disgusting, selfish things to hurt one another.  I wish that human beings would take the time to heal and to be real to one another.  I find myself only with the male v female dynamic and that is true.  There are men who hate men and women who hate women, too.  I have not forgotten that...not at all.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Endurance and perspective

I hope to continue to run the race that God calls me to run, whatever plan God has for me.  The winner in a track and field race goes to the swift.  He or she has endured grueling training for said race. 

That is what a Christian has to endure.  The Christian walk is more than a walk.  It is a race.  It is a race to the finish.  It is a tough race with all with requires much sacrifice.  Christians will have to die to self daily and could or rather, will lose everything.  We are to love the Lord more so than even our families.  Being a Christian is about being dedicated and also not just about being loving, but being strong and tough.

I have learned a lot even in the past year with toughness.  I didn't think I could fight and fight against the wiles of the enemy.  It has been hard as I have been finding myself overwhelmed at times, many, many times.  It has not been easy.  Being a believer is quite hard.  But being a Christian living a hard life is worth it.

There are believers who suffer even worse persecution than I because I live in a country where there is a Constitution where one of our rights is freedom of religion.  Many countries don't have that right.  Many people in other countries don't believe in "tolerance" of other religions.  That is what is going on.  Many believers are killed daily and others had to worship God in secret.  Some have been beaten, others have been brutalized, and some have even lost their homes and churches.  People in America have little understanding what Christians in other nations have to endure.

I have to remind myself of the endurance they have to endure.  My issues seem petty compared to what they go through.  I feel guilty about being self-involved.  I wish I could understand fully what others go through.  Many people have even greater crosses to bare yet it seems that I have been wrapped up with my own issues.  I hope that by writing this, I am able to put it all into perspective.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Developing a social life

I need to get out more.  How do I go about getting out more?  It is a good thing for me.  In fact, getting out more is a good thing for everyone.  I have been more of a loner for much of my life.  I have gotten used to it but over time, there are things that I wished to have done.

 I am not sure how I will get to that point with what I do have.  How should I practice talking to people?  My limits prevent me from doing so, but what are my limits?  I am a shy person and having a bunch of people looking at me especially is scary.  But the upside is at least they are paying attention.  I am not good at handling social situations well and conflict is something that I need to work on.

I am passive agressive which means what it says.  I am passive and aggressive.  There is no middle ground.  I don't have much of an idea how to assert myself without coming across as someone who is rude.  I care way too much what others think of me.  I have had that struggle for years.  With the world as it is, it is an even scarier place than it is for most.

So where should I begin?

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Fading Away

There are times when I wish all would simply fade away.  Then there are things that just do and nothing can be done about it.  There are times when I wish the faded memories would just be revisited and come back.  Then there are things that remain.  Right now I am listening to "Everything Fades Away" by Mariah Carey.  Even though this is a romance song, I can recall things in my life that have faded away and that are fading away.  I can recall them with fondness and I can recall others with joy and with sadness.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Little things

There isn't much that I will or can write tonight.  The point to this message is that big things come in small packages.  There are no need for big speeches at times.  Sometimes a small prayer or a short speech will do.  Sometimes they can be more heartfelt.  I shall remember that little miracles happen everyday and it is the little things that I need to take the most notice of so that I can get the big picture.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Grateful am I

It is amazing how grateful I am now.  All of a sudden I am grateful.  I feel like such a hypocrite for everyday that I am alive I should take the time to be grateful.  We who are blessed in some way should be grateful.  There are people who do have harder and have had harder times than I have had.  I sound selfish I guess. Being grateful is a godly quality just having holiness and being faithful.  How can one who is a believer not be grateful?  How can one who is not a believer not be grateful?  One of my pet peeves is when one is ungrateful.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Letters to God

I have been writing letters to God as of late and I am concerned that I will replace those letters for actual prayers.  I don't know or understand why I am so lazy in my prayers at times.  It is very hard to say what I want to say to the Lord.  But I am reminded that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us in our praying.  Paul writes that in Romans, where there is no condemnation for believers.

For that, I am thankful.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Sexy, romantic music

What a sexy, romantic song!  Toni Braxton's song is so amazing.  I love songs like this.  It is deep and passionate.  They need to make better music like this.  Maybe they are out there...wait, there is.  Alicia Keyes and Bruno Mars are still standing, lol.

Monday, May 20, 2013

A musical musing

Music most definitely soothes the savage beast.  The savage beast I am referring to is obsessive thoughts.  This past weekend I have not taken the time to write a few musings to this blog.  Here I am to write.

Music is a great healer.  It is universal thus it is a univeral healer, especially if one is depressed, manic, or just bored.  Well, yesterday I have been feeling depressed and bored, which is not a good combination.  Listening to classical and inspirational music was the ultimate cureall for me.

I personally just love music.  There just isn't enough that I can say about it.  I just love singing to it, not just listening to it.  I am no professional singer, but I am working on it, lol.  Music helps me to forget all of the doldrums of the day.  The only downside to music for me is that it can take me to places that maybe I don't want to go.   However, maybe I should since music is therapy.

Friday, May 17, 2013

The fat and thin of it

I just realized this.  I am a part of a forum in which others like myself are trying to lose weight.  I live in a society that does not love people of size as we are so-called.  We are mocked, ridiculed, and called names.  It is as though people who are larger, overweight, obese, or fat don't have feelings.

People often make excuses for bad behavior and this is no different.  Some people stereotype.  Others point out to preference but some point out to health as a reason to judge, mock, and discriminate.  I though that those things were and are still wrong.

I wonder about moral and sexual issues and this is a moral issue, at least in my mind.  There are some people who do equate obesity with a moral issue.  Something is twisted and wrong about this.  One of the messages here in this statement is that obesity equates to a moral failure, which is simply not the case with most people who are larger.

While obesity is not healthy, it is not a crime.  Eating unhealthy foods is a choice made by individuals and so is losing weight for one's health.  It is based ultimately on what the individual chooses to do.  If we were to lose weight for other people or because society thinks it is wrong, then one might as well stay overweight.  I didn't mean to sound cruel as I am overweight myself.  But if one wants to be of a healthier weight, whether or not they are 230 lbs overweight or 25 lbs underweight, then that is their choice.  No one else should have a say so except for them and their healthcare provider.  I never understood why society seems to worry more about someone's weight more so than even the person who has the weight issue.  I may be wrong but I don't wish to say that all people who are fat, obese, or overweight, or even skinny or underweight has a self esteem problem or does not, but it is a shame that people live in a shallow society where fat is equated with anything bad.  The news is most people don't fit the standard of beauty that is acceptable in our society, whether they are young, male, female, old, black, white, thin, or fat.  God created all of us, but it is up to us to take care of ourselves regardless of what we look like or how much we weigh.

I have written about my weight struggles and if I come across as a hypocrite, then I certainly don't mean to.  I just don't understand why it seems okay for people to put down others and discriminate against others because of how they look.  Why is it okay for some people to make fun of and look down on a fat woman because she isn't a size 2?  Most people in the US are not a size 2.  The average woman in the US is not tall or thin.  The truth is there are many reasons why a person gains weight and there is no need for them to explain themselves.  Why do people have to explain why a person gains weight?  Why should it matter?  All overweight people are not ignorant, lazy gluttons.  Nor are overweight people nasty, unattractive, and smell bad. 

Whatever happened to our Christian-founded nation being tolerant of others? 

How ironic that I asked that, huh.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Male v female dynamic

I have pretty much identified all of my major thoughts but the one that sticks out is the obsessive thoughts on a certain actor and all that is connected to it.  I hate his ex-wife for what she did to him.  She had the gall to write a book about him and even lie on him.  I cannot stand her.  He was no angel but you can tell he still loves her. 

Those are what my mind says.  Yes, the ex-wife wrote the book about him claiming abuse, but it could be true.  I don't know her and I never will.  It is okay to fantasize I guess but it has gotten to the point where I am even questioning my faith.  I even wonder as a Christian if I am committing idolatry since it is taking time away from God.  Am I worshipping the ex-husband?  Do I know the ex-husband?  Will my fantasies come true?  The answer to all of these questions is no.

Interestingly enough, nearly all of my obsessive thoughts surround the male v female dynamic.  Why are men and women in greater enmity than ever before?  Why do men and women seem to lack respect for themselves and one another?  What has gotten wrong in our US society and the world at large?  Men has been wussified and women are being oppressed.  That could be what is wrong here.  Men are supposed to be moral, strong, and leaders.  Women are supposed to be moral, classy, strong, and self-respecting.  Those traits are or seem to be lacking in both genders.

There are revenge sites, vengeful ex-wives, and murderous spouses everywhere you look.  It is a sad case of enmity and a total lack of respect between the sexes.  Crimes have been committed against women including rape and men are often the silent victims of abuse by their wives. Women and men cheat on one another, lie to one another, use one another, and end up divorced.  The world is a sad place with its sad people and their sad state of affairs.

I feel like with all of that the world is an awful place to live.  We all could use a dose of the truth.  Where does the truth lie?  Do we have our own truth?  Does it lie in all of us?  Or is there a greater Truth?  The Greater Truth isn't too far away as I have discovered.  I realize that because of these obsessive thoughts, I have had the burden of the world on my shoulders.  The Truth is, that there is no need to have to carry the world's burden on my shoulders.  I am in the world, but not of the world.  I have an issue but it doesn't have to defeat me and neither do these thoughts.  I realize that if someone else commits infidelity, I have to realize that they are the ones in the wrong, not I.  I also realize that if someone posts videos and pics of their exes online then they are the ones with the character flaws, not me.  If someone cheats on you, going online dogging him out won't really solve any problems in the long run.  I live in a world where I am a grow up.  Now I have realize that I need to grow up and so does the rest of the world.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Identifying obsessive thoughts tomorrow

I have obsessive thoughts about a celebrity and everyone and everything connected with it.  I am currently seeing a therapist for it.  I also take medication and while it helps with the obsessions, it does little to help with the compulsions.  I even began to hate one of the people involved in my obsession for what she did to him.  She wrote a book about him and supposedly did other horrible things, but he loved her nevertheless.  She supposedly knew what buttons to push.  Here is the problem:  I don't know how much of the book or the pushing buttons is true.  In reality I don't care, but reality says one thing.  The thoughts say to hate this person and to obsess about the one I care about.  It is silly and it makes no sense, but that is what has been going on in this brain of mine.  Everyday is an uphill battle. 

Is it important?  It is only important to me if I allow it to me.
Does it mean anything?  In the grand scheme of things, no it doesn't.
Will it change things?  No, it won't.

I have to constantly ask these questions which have been helpful but even those questions can be draining.  I wonder if all of this is part of a spiritual battle.  I have noticed that even with the thoughts about infidelity I have drawn closer to God.  I have had thoughts about infidelity and obsessions about people since I could remember.  Hearing about a woman, watching a sex scene, reading, or watching an adulterous woman bothers me.  Why, I don't know? 

I think that all of us have committed spiritual infidelity.  I have myself because I haven't always been faithful to God.  I have learned to avoid anything dealing with infidelity but it can be hard.  I hate the idea of avoidance because my world has gotten smaller and smaller and smaller.  Maybe I need to take steps to make the world a bigger place.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Spending time with God

I wrote a letter to God and I plan on writing even more.  That is my musing for today.  I plan, rather, as a Christian realize the vitality of being close to the Lord.  Getting close to the Lord is of utmost importance to me.  I admit that I don't spend enough time with God and I have prayed to get closer to God, but I realize that I have made little effort to spend time with Him.  Prayer is very important to the life of a believer, but so is spending time with the Creator.  He wants a relationship with the believer, not lip service.  I believe that there is too much lip service in the church and not enough truth, but that is not what I am here to write about. 

Monday, May 13, 2013

Faith and persecution

Faith, hope, and love are three things that a Christian needs and should possess.  It is hard to be a Christian.  It is not an easy life as a Christian is in the world, but not of the world.  There is much persecution against Christians and we have to be strong in the face of persecution.  This has gone on for thousands of years and it is still going on.  As an American, I can only imagine what Christians in other nations go through.  Many have been raped, their churches burned, and others have been killed.  We as Christians need to pray for other believers, especially those who have been persecuted for their faith.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Weight loss goals for the time being

 I need to lose at least 100 lbs.  Right now, I am at 285 pounds and I would like to weigh 210 lbs for the time being.  Exactly, how much I wish to lose would be difficult but one thing’s for sure: I want to lose weight.  I admit that I have no real goals because I don’t know what I want.  My life story is about diet after diet after diet.  I may have to switch up on my diet and how I eat.  I don’t care for dieting but 1800 calories works for me thus far.  I eat too many unhealthy foods and not enough healthy foods like apples, oranges, and blueberries.  I am also a diabetic who has PCOS.  I may need to go on a special diet because of these two conditions alone.   It is tiresome to have these conditions and if I don’t take care of myself, then I could have complications which I don’t want.  The most frustrating part is that I have so much medication to take and I wish that I didn’t have to take so much medication.  I realize that diet, exercise, and medications are not all I need.  I also need to relax and exercise more.  I will formulate a plan that I will indeed follow.  It can be difficult but I will stick to it.

Saturday, May 11, 2013


Yesterday, I wrote about priorities.  My first priority is to God.  I am to be a faithful, fearless servant of His.  Life can be difficult but being a Christian is an exciting adventure.  I love the Lord and I told Him that I will live for Him and serve Him all the days of my life.  Living a life of dignity and character is part of what is being a believer.

Speaking of fearless, I admit that my life has been ruled by fear.  My greatest fear is fear of God and fear of the unknown.  I also admit that my fears have been religious as well as secular.  As a person with OCD, I realize that being uncertain is something that is deeply rooted, but not within myself.  It is part of the disorder.

Life I know is too short so being a Christian involves an uphill battle and fighting each and every day.  This is the case even if one doesn't feel like it.  As an American, I can only imagine what believers in other nations go through.  They are persecuted in ways that Americans will never contemplate, or will we?  I know that I am jumping from topic to topic, but fear is really the focus of today's blog.

I wish that I could get to the point where fear is all I have to fear.  I wish that I could fear God and God alone, but I realize that the fear that I have is paralyzing.  I fear others, I fear family, I fear my own shadow sometimes.  Fear is something that I have to overcome for the Good Book says that perfect love casts out fear.

I realize that we as believers have to have a sound mind, but when one is bipolar and has OCD, that is easier said than done to accomplish.  There is fear and anxiety on every corner.  Fear is the opposite of faith I realize that, for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.  That is what is like having OCD where there is much false evidence appearing real. 

I fear what others think and I have low self-esteem which may be the root of all of my fears.  That is something that I need help with.  How do I deal with this fear?  How would perfect love casts all of my fears?  I do need wisdom and strength in the tough times which seems to be every time.

Friday, May 10, 2013


I feel great about revealing Mickey Rourke as my crush/obsession.  The funny thing is I don't know how or when it started.  He was and is so sexy he kept me up at night, lol.  Seriously, I do think that he is a sexy and talented actor.  He was especially sexy in 9 1/2 Weeks, Diner, Expendables, and Iron Man 2.  Well, that is enough about Mickey Rourke.

My thoughts are over.  Any connection that I have with Mickey Rourke are over.  I have been obsessing over him for a while and I was afraid that it wasn't becoming healthy.  This obsession reminds me of an obsession that I had over another guy, but I forgot who.  I realize that obsessions are unhealthy and that I need a social life, but how to go about having a social life?  I don't know.

I need to prioritize my life.  Who or what is important to me?  What meaning do I want to have in life?  In other words, what is my purpose here? Why am I here?  What is the Divine Plan for me?  Why did God put me here?

I need help with my health for starters.  I have been at a plateau for a while.  I need to realize that I am losing weight yet I feel it has been too slow.  I do need to eat healthier and exercise more.  I like the idea of moving around, but exercising more has been hard.  For a while I wasn't sure if I was physically able.  Now I wonder if that is just an excuse.  I have learned not to put off for tomorrow what I could do today.

I also need to relax.  I am an extreme type A personality which means I could be a minute away from a walking heart attack because I have a difficult time dealing with stress.  I have been overwhelmed and just tired.  Having OCD is an uphill battle.  It is a constant battle of the mind.  Sometimes I feel like just giving up.

I also need to take a couple of steps back and see what I need to prioritize.  One day and moment at a time.  It is all confusing and such.  There is so much I want to do.  The problem is that I have accomplished little in my life, or so it seems.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Who is it?

I am over my obsession.  I can finally beat it.  I am doing well now and I am thankful to the Lord above.  With God, all things are possible.  I feel great.  I have learned that if something is on the back of your mind, then you are not truly over it.  I am over it and it hasn't been on the back of my mind.  The obsessive thoughts don't bother me and I feel so much better.  Who was the obsession in question?  Well, I am nervous about revealing said person so I guess it no longer matters since I am over it.  I slept well last night and everything.  I had a rough experience with a crush or two and revealing his name seems like a jinx or something. 

I am having a fear of what others may say if I were to reveal my crush/ obsession.  The man in question is an actor, and a good one at that.  He was good looking as a young man and is just as sexy now as an older guy.  He was just pretty to look at when he was younger.  Anyways, I don't know why I care so much what others think.  Do they care what I think?  No, I doubt it.  I have learned that when one cares what others think then you give them power and you lose a piece of your own self.  It is a trap and a giant one.  My world became smaller as a result.  Maybe I should be more courageous and reveal the person.

But before I reveal said person, I would like to say that confession is good for someone with OCD because it is a way of facing my thoughts head on.  It is also good for the soul and the heart because of the anxiety.  I am so anxious about revealing this person I have no idea.  It all started when I and everyone else including my friends believe that I was not the right kind of person to have a crush on such a guy.  This was back in high school.  In college, things got worse as I made a fool out of myself because I was so obsessed with this guy.  The only way that I got over that one was to be removed from the University I attended, and thus, move away from the guy.  It was a great thing that happened to me.

I got saved just before then and I realized that God revealed himself to me in difficult to understand ways, okay, rather mysterious ways.  I went to another college, graduated from said college, then went on to graduate school, and finally found out who my real friends were.  I was a lonely person who was often made fun of and taken advantage of and I am still dealing with that until this day.  I am learning to stand on my two feet.  My voice is just as important as all others and now I will reveal my current crush.  It is Mickey Rourke.  There.  I said it.  It is Mickey Rourke.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Eventful day

Today has been an eventful day.  Being proactive is a great way to live.  It is great prevention from living in a rut and staying in a cycle.  That is what has happened today, but I can't help but think that I did the right thing even though I am not.  I feel like things have gotten too slow yet I have been told I am on the right track.  It is a frustration that I am going through right now.  I am hopeful that with a little discipline and a little bit of divine intervention, all will be well.  I hope this is a case of much ado about nothing.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Frustrated Christian

The greatest thing that a frustrated Christian can realize is that God is there for them.  I have been frustrated all day today because of some obsessive thoughts that I have had.  It is frustrating to have OCD because you feel like you have the burden of the whole world on your shoulders as well as on your mind.  God is there for me every step of the way and I thank Him for that.

Monday, May 6, 2013

The Value of True Friendship

The Value of True Friendship

The Bible writes much about the value of friendship and defines what a true friendship is. Jesus defined for us what a true friend is, for He was not only a great Teacher, but also one who showed Himself a True Friend. His definition of being a friend is one who is entrusted with sacred or secret details. A friend is a person who is trustworthy and one who is willing to entrusts. A friend is one who you show loyalty and who will show loyalty to you in return. Friends are faithful and honest towards one another. They care about each other's well being; they make sacrifices for one another, as Jesus has laid his life for us. Jesus said in John 15:12-15, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I have learned from my Father I have made known to you."

Though it seems contradictory to what I defined my definition of a friend, Micah 7:5 writes, "Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend." God's Word was saying that at that time, people will betray one another including your family. Sadly for every true friend that is out there, there are also people who are not true friends to one another. David writes on the pain of being betrayed by one he considered a confidant. In Psalm 41:9 he writes, "Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up [his] heel against me." It is a shame that in this world, there are some people who don't know or understand the value of true friendship.

But God does. God will never leave us, slander us, abuse us, be pretentious towards us, nor forsake us. God is a Jealous God and He wants us to serve Him and Him only. Not only are we God's friends, we are His Children as well. Like Jonathan and David in 1Samuel, we too have a covenant that God will never break. He is the God that cannot lie. It is not in Him to be dishonest. Like David and Jonathan, God loves us as he loves his own soul.--1 Sam. 18:3 paraphrased. Also like Abraham who was righteous before God, "he was called God's Friend" because of his covenant and righteousness before God.

God however warns us in 2 Cor 6:14, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" In this world, there are people who say they are your friends, but you do not have your best interest at heart. Watch out for these people, for ""Bad company corrupts good character."--1 Cor 15:33 There are people who, in this world, are bad influences. Do not keep company with such people. They are amongst people who are friends with the world with all its sin. "James 4:4 writes, "You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God." Choose life not death. Choose wisdom not foolishness. Choose God's way, not Satan's way. God is the best Friend you will ever have. All you have to do is call on Him.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Be Encouraged

The Bible provides much encouragement for its believers. We are to be encouraged because of the blessings of being a child of God. We are to be encouraged because we worship a God that we have a relationship with. Our God is an omnipotent, omniscient God. He knows all of our suffering because when He was tried, beaten, mocked, and then crucified on that cross in Calvary. But we are to be encouraged all the more encouraged because He rose from the dead on the third day. He is our Lord and Savior and we are to worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth. He is the one and only True God. We can have a personal relationship with Him for He is not a cold, lifeless, manmade diety that we have to appease. He heals, saves, and delivers. He forgives sins, no matter what how deep you are in your sins, for He is the God of hope. (The only sin He does not forgive is when blasphemes the Holy Spirit.)

We are joint-heirs with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We have an inheritance that is eternal. We can have eternal life if we repent, confess that Jesus is Lord, believe that God raised Him from the dead, keep His commandments, and walk in His ways. We strive to be more Christ-like daily which means we walk the walk and walk the talk. We are to live holy lives in service to God. It means that despite our narrow walk, there will be troubles along the way. But despite all of our troubles, we are not alone in our suffering even though it does seem that way. We should be encouraged and give glory to our God because we can and are strengthened by our troubles. If we are sick, Jesus heals. If we have sinned, we can confess our sins and He cleanses us from our unrighteousness. If we are struggling, there is grace to help in time of need. If we are persecuted, we can stil have joy. If we are need of salvation, Jesus is the only One who can help.

We as believers have much to be thankful for. We should be thankful that our names are written in Heaven. We should not be troubled at the things of the world. If we are anxious we can cast our cares upon Him. If we are burdened by the troubles of this life, then we can ask for rest. We have the Holy Spirit, who not only convicts us of sin, righteousness, and judgement, but He comforts us. We can have perfect peace if our minds are stayed on Jesus. We can be blessed in our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls.

The good news is that we shall be changed in the twinkling of an eye. We will no longer be sinful beings, but saints whose bodies will be changed from corruptible to incorruptible. We have walked the Christian race and have endured and those who have endured to the end will be saved and will receive an incorruptible reward. Rejoice for our end is a blessed and eternal ending.

Verses and Chapters to Read: Leviticus 11:44, Isaiah 26:3, Matthew 5:19-34, Matthew 12:31-33, John 14-15, Romans 8:1-4, 1 Corinthians 15:35-58, Galatians 4:1-6, Colossians 3:12-17, Philippians 4:13, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, 2 Thessalonians 2:13-16, 2 Timothy 1:3-18, Book of James, 1 John 1:8-10, Revelation 1:17, Revelation 21-22

Friday, May 3, 2013


Discipline is like being proactive.  It is true.  You have to take action, yet discipline requires more than taking action.  It takes strength and continuity.  Discipline is something that I have a hard time with.  I guess most people have great difficulty being disciplined.  I could not count the numerous times when I wished that my goals were accomplished because I felt that I was not disciplined enough.  I had to ask myself why couldn't I have done this before.  I had to conclude that a question like that would be futile because better late than never.  The past can never be changed so at least there are the present and the future.  No one tells us that we have to learn to make the same mistakes over and over again.  The great thing about life is that we can learn from them.

I was thinking about discipline because of my weight.  I feel like I am at a plateau.  It takes discipline, lots of it to diet, exercise, and take my medication for other conditions.  It takes a toll on me sometimes but I have to remind myself that discipline is important and that diet, exercise, and medication are necessary.  To be a disciplined person, one's mindset has to change and that is what I had to do.  My mindset had to change yet it is easier said than done.  I had to not mull over it but to put it into action and think about the pros and cons of diet, exercise, and medication.

The biggest pro would be a healthier me.  The biggest con would be an unhappy, unhealthy me who is still wondering why things aren't going her way.  Well, cons since they obviously outweigh the pros in this case.  But discipline is a lesson well-learned.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The universal language of music

This song is just magnetic and hypnotic.  It is a Tuareg song.  The Tuaregs are a Berber speaking people from North-Western Africa.  Sadly, I know little about them, but the music is just amazing.  I would like to take the time to tell you that I enjoy all types of music.  God gave us the gift of music to share with the world.  Music like knowledge is power and has power.  It inspires, it educates, and it can create.  Music is a beautiful thing.  Music is a universal language.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

What Must I do to be Saved?

Elizabeth Friedlin was at the end of her rope.  She had no idea how to get out of the situation she was in.  Bill collectors kept calling, her marriage was in trouble, her kids were becoming rebellious, and because of the stress she was dealing with, she was always anxious.  She never seemed to know what to do how to handle her situation.  Elizabeth had been overwhelmed.  Her husband, Bill, and her constantly fought about everything.  There was no trust and as it seemed,  no love, between the two.  Their 17 year-old daughter, Tiffany, was in a relationship with a guy they didn’t approve of.  He had a rap sheet “a mile long”. He had been in trouble with the law since he was 12.  In the past, he had been in juvenile hall for assault and battery.  It also doesn’t help that they have heard things about those he associates with, or rather.  They believed that you are by the company you keep, so they did not like him at all and felt he was no good for their daughter.  What Elizabeth and Bill didn’t seem to realize is that Tiffany rebelled was because of her parents’ in-fighting.  To make things worse, her 15 year-old brother London rather hung out with his friends and avoided his parents.  

Then one day she hears a knock on her door.  It was Mrs. Winders, the old widow from across the street.  “Hello, Lizzie.”  “May I come in, dear?”  “ Yes, Mrs. Winders, come in.”  Mrs. Winders was a short, petite elderly woman of about 85 years old.  She had a sweet face, wore thin-rimmed glasses, and has fluffy gray hair.  “Yes, Ma’am, come in.  Did someone bring you?”  Mrs Winders answered, “My daughter and grandchildren are going to the store to buy a few things and I told her I wanted to be at your house to discuss an important matter with you.” Mrs. Winders walked in. She wanted to tell her about the rash of recent robberies occurring in the neighborhood.   She began to nod, “It is terrible what has been going on lately.  No one is safe in their own homes anymore.  I remember when we didn’t hear about all of these robberies.  People believed in God more back then, too.  Nowadays, people are talking about taking God out of the schools and taking the Ten Commandments out of courthouses.  It is a shame, I tell you.  It is a shame.”  After she finished talking, Mrs. Winders noticed the expression on Elizabeth’s face and asked her what was wrong.  Elizabeth responded, “I have been overwhelmed.” Elizabeth was in such despair that her eyes began to well up with tears.  “There is too much going on.”  Elizabeth is in the house alone before Mrs. Winders stopped by.  “ Bill and I are not getting along, Tiffany is seeing this boy that just isn’t right for her, and London has been avoiding us lately.  There is no hope in sight.  I ask God to help, but he doesn’t answer me.”

As Elizabeth begins to cry, Mrs. Winders provided the shoulder to cry on that she needed.  “Elizabeth, God hears you.  He knows what is going on.”  Elizabeth has doubts about what is going on.  “Then how come everything is so wrong in my home?” Mrs. Winders answers her questions the best way she knew how.  “Lizzie, do you have a Bible somewhere?” Elizabeth was quite surprised that she would ask her this, especially since she hasn’t read the large white Family Bible that was passed down to her after her mother died.  “I’ll get it.”  Elizabeth gets the dusty Family Bible she kept stored in the study next to the living room.  The fact that she was holding the Bible made her nervous.  Her anxiety began to grow once she walked closer to where Mrs. Winders was sitting.  “I’m back.  Here you go, Mrs. Winders.  I hope it’s not too heavy for you.”  After a brief laugh, Mrs Winders responded, “Yes, dear, it is a little heavy.”  

“Why don’t I hold it for you?”  Mrs. Winders have noticed that Lizzie looked nervous.  “Lizzie, what’s the matter?”  Elizabeth began to confess, “I admit that I have not been reading the Bible as much.  I am not the religious type.  The reason why is because I don’t have such a strong faith in God is because of my mother’s death, things seem to have changed, and not for the better.  My mother was a rock for me.  She has been there for me in times of good and bad.  She has been there for me when I was in having troubles in school, when I was in need, everything.  Now she is no longer hear and I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know how to move on.”  Mrs. Winders listened intently, “Sweetie, why don’t you turn to the Book of Psalms.  Turn to Psalms 18 and read verse 2.”  Elizabeth reads, “The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” God is a rock?  What does the horn of my salvation mean?” Mrs. Winders responds, “The Lord protects us and guides us.  He is the only One who can save us.  He is strong and mighty.  He knows all and so if you are in need, just talk to Him, just like you are talking to me now.” 
“That is wonderful thing to say, but I just don’t know.” Mrs. Winders patted Lizzie’s hand and told her, “Go down to verse 30, and read to verse 32.” “30 As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. 
He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD ? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.” “I am beginning to understand, but I wonder why the good have to go?”

Mrs. Winders did not understand who she was referring to, but Lizzie told her it was her mother. “My mother died last year and it has been hard.” Mrs. Winders told her she could relate. Her husband, Dr. David J. Winders passed away of  heart failure 15 years ago and she took his death hard.  “Mrs. Winders, did you believe in God then?”  “Yes I did, Lizzie.  But God never said that being a Christian was going to be easy.  The reason why I wanted you to read that verse is because not only is God strong, but that no matter what you are going through, God will make a way for you.  He certainly made a way for me. I am at peace that David is with the Lord.” Elizabeth asked, “Mrs. Winders, you don’t miss him?  You don’t grieve for him?” Mrs. Winders responds, “Of course I will always miss him.  We have been together for 35 years. But giving up on God is the worst thing you can do or you will end up overwhelmed.  It is easier said but it is the truth, Lizzie.  You do know I will never steer you wrong.” Smiling, Elizabeth says, “Yes, ma’am, I know. I’m starting to feel better already.”  “I’m glad you do.  Now turn over to Psalm 92 and go to verse 15.”
“Verse 15. “proclaiming, "The LORD is upright; he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him." I had no idea about God except for what my mother taught me.  She was a good Christian woman, Mrs. Friendlin, and she taught us about putting God first and that Jesus saves.  But with everything that has happened, I have a hard time believing that. “Elizabeth, I am not forcing you into anything, but with God, there are no ifs, ands, or buts.  Either you are with him, or against Him.” 
Elizabeth was surprised.  “What are you saying, Mrs. Winders?” “Lizzie, what I am saying is your mother was right.  If you want help, I am giving you help.  God can help.  Put your trust in Him and He will see you through.  Now turn to the Book of James, it is near the back of the Bible.”  Elizabeth looked through the Table of Contents and nearly flipped half the Bible over to turn to the book of James. “Have you found it?”  “Yes, Ma’am, I have.” “Now go to verse 4.”

“Verse 4. “You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.”  I don’t understand.  What does this have to do with our conversation?” Adulterous?” “Elizabeth, it means being unfaithful but to God.  If you are not faithful to Him, then you are not with God.  If you are faithful, then you truly love Him.  The world is filled with sin, greed, selfishness, and hate.  Jesus Christ died for us so that we might surrender to God and be faithful to Him.” The car horn is honking; someone then knocks on the door.  It is Mrs. Winders’ 9 year-old granddaughter, Haley.  “Who is it?”  “It’s Haley.”
”Oh well, it is time for me to go.  Remember everything I told you.  It is life saving.  Oh, I will talk to you later, okay.”  “Okay, and thank you, Mrs. Winders.  Have a good day.”  
Mrs. Winders smiles, “I will, dear.  Goodbye.”  Elizabeth smiles back, “Goodbye, and thank you again, Mrs. Winders.”  “You’re welcome, Sweetheart.”  “Bye, Haley.”

Haley and Mrs. Winders walks to the car and before her daughter drives off, everyone waves.  They are going to to meet Mrs. Winders’ friend Mr. Victor Sayers. 
After they leave, Elizabeth closes the door.
Then she picks up the Bible and begins to read James 4:4 again. “4 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God?”  “I hated God?  That doesn’t make sense.  But I sure was angry with Him.”  Then she recalls her mother telling her, “The Good Book says, “love thy neighbor”. She also recalls her mother reading to her when she was a child, 
“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
She did not know what was going on, but she felt compelled, in a good way, to learn more about God’s Word.  She began to look through the Table of Contents and read through much of the Bible from cover to cover.  A month later, little has changed.  Elizabeth still gets the calls from bill collectors, she and Bill now barely speak, and the relationship between her and the kids has grown cold.  Later that night, Elizabeth began reading Acts 16.  A few minutes later, she begins to read verses 29-31, “29 The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 He then brought them out and asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" 31 They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved-you and your household."  The verse that pierced her heart was verse 30.  “What must I do to be saved?” “Saved?”  Elizabeth recalls asking her father what is means for someone to be saved.  “Daddy, what does being saved mean?” “Well, Beth, being saved means to be rescued from something.  In the Bible, you know that Jesus died on the cross.  He suffered so that we could be rescued.  Only He can rescue us, save us.”  Elizabeth finished reading Acts 16, got up, got dressed, and went to bed.  While she was asleep, she saw Acts 16:30, “What must I do to be saved?” Then the words continued on to verse 31, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved-you and your household.".  It was 2:30 am and she couldn’t help but think about those two verses. “What must I do to be saved?” “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved-you and your household."
She then began to knelt beside her bed and for the first time in a long time, she began to pray, “God, I believe that Jesus saves and I ask that He saves me.  Ever since Mrs. Winders stopped by, I have been reading your word and I want to know more about you.  I don’t know what happened and I don’t understand a lot of things but I want to.  Lord Jesus, I surrender my life to you.  I need you.  Bill collectors keep calling, my marriage is in trouble, and I don’t know what to do about my children.  It is as if my family is falling apart.  Jesus, I need you.  Your word says “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved-you and your household."  I do believe in You, and I want to be saved.  I want to be Your friend.  Help me, Lord.  I am asking for your help.  I believe that You hear my prayers and I am sorry that I was unfaithful to You.  I ask and thank You for rescuing me, in Your Name, Amen.”  From that moment, the room seem lighter and a weight began to be lifted from her.  It is as if life has started over for her.
And it did.   Mrs. Winders became a regular visitor at the Friedlin Household.  Elizabeth began to talk to Mrs. Winders about her new found freedom.  To Elizabeth, that was what it was.  To help her grow from a “babe in Christ” to a mature believer, she and Mrs. Winder attended church.  They even had regular Bible studies in her home.  Her husband and children began to notice a change in Elizabeth since her conversion.  In time, her whole household was saved and her marriage situation began to improve.  She and Bill began were growing strong in the Lord.  And their love for one another grew day by day.  London and Tiffany now witness to other students about the Lord.  Tiffany has since ended her relationship with her former boyfriend.  London no longer avoided his family but grew closer to them.  God has answered their prayers and now Elizabeth and her family knows that no matter what the family goes through, they know that if they remain faithful to God, they can overcome anything.