Sunday, July 27, 2014
My relationship with the "OCD Persona" and infidelity
I am doing okay this morning. However, I don't usually muse early in the morning like this. I even prayed last night for the "OCD Persona". I have to say why the" OCD Persona" picked this particular subject but I guess it no longer matters. The matter I am referring to is the infidelity committed by wives. I guess because of my strong opinions it bothers me. I really don't know now what to make of people who cheat. I guess because I wonder why a woman would cheat on a man who is good to her. I have come to realize that the "OCD Persona" is just that, a persona. She is real to me but her thoughts and ideas are not based on reality. It took me a while to realize that. What is it that I am afraid the most? I am afraid that I will become like her. She is rude, intrusive, judgmental, and makes me anxious. I obsess it seems about everything from my weight to infidelity. I wonder if I have a perfectionist complex. I have been wondering about quite a few things over the years. The thoughts I realize are expansions and thus exaggerations of reality. The thoughts I can manage but it is compulsions that are annoying and the anxiety that can be rough. The checking and reassurance is even more bothersome but is manageable as well. That is how I live my life on a daily basis. I am doing better but I realize when it comes to this subject I have a ways to go.