"Roar" by Katy Perry is a recently released song that I love. As I am typing this, I was listening to it. It is a song of encouragement and hope. I need to be strong for right now, I am living in a funk right now. I could use some encouragement because I see no way out. I have been binging and craving foods like crazy. Just moments ago, I had some craisins with pomegranate dried cranberries.
I feel like a weak, powerless, helpless person. Could it be depression? Or could it be a natural source of guilt that is brought on by guilt because of copious amounts of foods? At least that would be the case for me, being a glutton. I feel like giving up on my diet. Maybe that is the problem. I consider it a diet and I want to lose weight.
Right now, however, I feel like eat and obsessing and eating and obsessing. That is the plan for the day. In fact, I made no plans for the day. I just feel like giving up and just let go. I want to live like abandon or something like that. I struggle to follow the rules and now I am just struggling. I need help and it feels lonely. I pray and struggle, pray and struggle. What do I do now?