Thursday, October 10, 2013

"Roar" by Katy Perry

"Roar" by Katy Perry is a recently released song that I love.  As I am typing this, I was listening to it.  It is a song of encouragement and hope.  I need to be strong for right now, I am living in a funk right now.  I could use some encouragement because I see no way out.  I have been binging and craving foods like crazy.  Just moments ago, I had some craisins with pomegranate dried cranberries.

I feel like a weak, powerless, helpless person.  Could it be depression?  Or could it be a natural source of guilt that is brought on by guilt because of copious amounts of foods?  At least that would be the case for me, being a glutton.  I feel like giving up on my diet.  Maybe that is the problem.  I consider it a diet and I want to lose weight.

Right now, however, I feel like eat and obsessing and eating and obsessing.  That is the plan for the day.  In fact, I made no plans for the day.  I just feel like giving up and just let go.  I want to live like abandon or something like that.  I struggle to follow the rules and now I am just struggling.  I need help and it feels lonely.  I pray and struggle, pray and struggle.  What do I do now?
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