I need to heal myself before I can witness and heal others. Jesus said that He came to minister to those who are ill, however, not to those who are well. So what am I really trying to say? I have issues and I need to do a better job of addressing them. I have been wasting a lot of time being depressed and what not. It has been quite a depressing week to say the least. I am in a time when there seems to be little hope. I am usually a hopeful person but I am not sure if I could either change or if I could at least change my circumstances. It seems that I have taken two steps back in this journey. Taking a break has been a good and bad thing for me. I am just rambling about my life this past week because it has been quite eventful. This is especially true when it came to my health.
Mickey Rourke is another reason. I have written in full detail about my obsession with him and I realize that I have become one sick puppy. I think I am in love. I know that literally I'm not but it has been rough trying to overcome an obsession with someone. It should be easy for me as I know I will never get to know him or meet him. It is all in my head. I need help despite a therapist, medication, etc.
I am not sure if I am truly getting the help I need. I seem so clueless yet at the same time I feel a sense of calm in the midst of a self-inflicted storm. Maybe it isn't a test or a storm. Who knows?