Saturday, October 12, 2013

Physician, heal thyself

I need to heal myself before I can witness and heal others.  Jesus said that He came to minister to those who are ill, however, not to those who are well.  So what am I really trying to say?  I have issues and I need to do a better job of addressing them.  I have been wasting a lot of time being depressed and what not.  It has been quite a depressing week to say the least.  I am in a time when there seems to be little hope.  I am usually a hopeful person but I am not sure if I could either change or if I could at least change my circumstances.  It seems that I have taken two steps back in this journey.  Taking a break has been a good and bad thing for me.  I am just rambling about my life this past week because it has been quite eventful.  This is especially true when it came to my health. 

Mickey Rourke is another reason.  I have written in full detail about my obsession with him and I realize that I have become one sick puppy.  I think I am in love.  I know that literally I'm not but it has been rough trying to overcome an obsession with someone.  It should be easy for me as I know I will never get to know him or meet him.  It is all in my head.  I need help despite a therapist, medication, etc.

I am not sure if I am truly getting the help I need.  I seem so clueless yet at the same time I feel a sense of calm in the midst of a self-inflicted storm.  Maybe it isn't a test or a storm.  Who knows? 
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