Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Fallin in love with reality

I would like to fall in love and get married.  This what I am writing about today.  I wonder about a lot of things, hence, musings.  I confess.  I never know what it is like to fall in love.  I know about having a crush on someone or being obsessed, but to really love someone, I don't know how.  I have only ideas and that is what I have. 

I live in a fantasy world in order to cope with the lack that is a part of my reality.  I have a need to explore and to at least try to engage with other people.  But meeting new people is hard for me as I am a shy person who struggles with how to deal with other people.  I have issues about myself that I have yet to address.

Those issues are why I talk so much about my weight and my obsessions.  I never really spread and wings.  I feel as if my wings have been clipped long ago or at least have never been used.  I don't know where to fly.  Do I have wings at all?  Will they grow?  Are they too short?  In short, what is really standing in my way?

How do I get out of the fantasy world?  I have gotten too comfortable.  That is the problem.  Life I wish was about comfort, but those who are successful in life take risks.  There is little to no comfort in taking risks.  Either you pass or fail.  That is it.  There is no in-between.

So as far as taking risks, where do I begin? 

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