Wednesday, October 9, 2013

I am obsessed.

Mickey Rourke is an obsession of mine.  I need help and I need help badly.  I feel like I am going crazy.  I could be going crazy.  I am trying to be stable this week, but it has been very hard.  I feel like going home and just give up.  I know, I know, I am home, but it is just like a figure of speech.  I wish I could just go away.  I realize that I need a hobby instead of living in a fantasy world.

I am thankful for all of the advice that I have been given.  This is an honor that they were so nice to me.  I will talk to my counselor about this.  Re-directing my thoughts haven't always been so easy.  It is quite confusing at one time.  I am not confusing myself any longer because I don't feel that it is a good thing to have an obsession on any actor.  I am brave enough to put myself out there and say that I might be going crazy.  I know I would take pity or at least relate to someone who was obsessed like I am. 

I was even obsessed with others, yet they come and go.  I know I will never meet him or get to know him.  I know he isn't as good looking as he once was.  I know that he never died on the cross for me.  However, it seems that my brain doesn't register that sometimes.  I wonder what I should say to God about this.  What should I say to God about this?  What should I do?  Is there any other advice that I should take to heart?  Those are questions that I need to be asking.  I just cannot take it anymore.  When will it all pass?  I cannot wait much longer.
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