Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Who I am now and why I can and will win...

I am Gail Gerald.  I am a 40 year old woman who embraces her age.  I am a woman who is positive that all is well and that all will continue to be well.  I know that I will be.  I have been so negative for far too long.  I have changed and grown a lot.  I should have after 40 years on this planet.  Today is a day in which I realize that I have strength and that I own it.  I own the fact that I have OCD.  I have OCD.  I have obsessive compulsive disorder and had its symptoms for many years.  For a long time I could not take it anymore, so yes, it has been an uphill struggle.  I prayed for healing but often times the relief has been temporary.  I focused on the wrong things.  I gave the thoughts too much attention, and the images have been "bullying" me for so long, I realize that I have got to stand up to the OCD. Yesterday I was listening to this song about overcoming fear and I realize that fear is something that can be overcome.  I am to be made perfect in love for I have yet to be made perfect.  I fear OCD spikes but even I can overcome those.  This has been the issue for today.  I had a spike last night and I have been tempted to check for infidelity stories.  However, I have come to realize that since I had these thoughts, all I ended up was more stories about infidelity, heartbreak, and a fight against anxiety.  I need to remind myself of that.  Fear and anxiety are my enemies because they have been nothing but bullies. It is time for me to stand up to those bullies and fight back.  It may take some work, but it will be worth it.  As a believer in Christ, I am an over comer, at least I was supposed to be.  I am supposed to fight back.  This is warfare and I need to use every weapon at my arsenal.  I think it is time.
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