Re-direction is a wonderful thing if one is as obsessed as I am. It gives me a strategy to cope with whatever thoughts are bothering me. There is something about those thoughts that bother me. I should write a story or something about why I have those thoughts in the first place. But sadly it is only a theory. Today is a good day so far.
Why do some women hate one another? Why do some black people hate one another? Is it because of men? Is it because of the white man in general? Men and white people have little to nothing to do with the fact that some women and black general in general are mean, catty, and just plain rude. It has to do with the individual's character. Never use someone else as a crutch. Power is something one cannot take for granted. Women in general are more territorial than men plus we are more subtle, thus making us a dangerous creature. Men in general are physically stronger and intellectually more logical than women. That is how it is. We are different yet are the same.
Fear is something to overcome. It is false evidence appearing real. That is the definition of obsessive compulsive disorder. It is a disorder of fear. The fear of something bad happening is present. I have had this fear for a long time now and I have just now found out that I can do something about it. I have been hiding and avoiding for so long I didn't know how to deal with anything else. I avoid living life in general.
My motives haven't always been pure. I realize that I have had selfish motives for wanting to watch tv or movies. I realize that I have avoided situations because of fear and not because the movie or tv show or song does not honor God. I admit that I have done dishonorable things and for that, I am no saint. One who is holy has pure motives. Mercy and faith go hand in hand with holiness. Those are things that matter much more to me in the grand scheme of things.
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