I would like to stop being bored. I realize that if I were to list everything about my life, I would have no reason to be bored. I am thankful for what I have. I would like to go on an expedition riding horses. I would also like to travel the world.I know nothing about expeditions, but I would like to travel the world. As a matter of fact, I would like to be a missionary and serve the Lord. I have thought about this, but I was wondering if that is what God wanted me to do. I am grateful that I have come a mighty long way, though I don't always see it.
Here is my testimony:
Hello, I have been writing a testimony about my life. I first became
born again in 1994. It has been an interesting journey. I thanked God
and still do, thank Him for saving me. My life has had many ups and
downs. My testimony will be like many Christians who have been
diagnosed with an emotional disorder.
I have been diagnosed
with bipolar disorder on February 19, 1994. I was at first diagnosed
with depression because of what has been going on with me. Within a
week or two, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was actually
relieved. For a long time, I felt like I was going crazy. I had
suicidal thoughts almost on a daily basis. My personality changed with
my moods. My relationships with others suffered. My grades went down.
I would walk out of class and oftentimes, I wouldn't make even show up
for class. Not long before, I had never walked out of class unless
there was an excuse such as a medical emergency. My grades were
decent-I was on the honor roll. I graduated in the top 5 of my high
school class. I was a happy 18-year old who enjoyed going to college.
Life was good. However, I didn't know that depression during those
days would be a precursor to my worst year ever.
Life became a
total wreck. By this time, people began to turn on me. I have thought
of elaborate ways that I wanted to die. I had a rough time dealing with
what was going on around me. I began to obsess about a particular guy
that I got along with. All of a sudden, a little crush turned into an
obsession. I made a fool out of myself. The worst part of it was that
others knew as well. Everything seemed negative. I did care about what
others think. But then, I started praying a long prayer to God. What I
didn't realize is that that prayer would be the beginning to a journey
that would forever change my life. Things haven't improved, not until
September 10, 1994. I prayed to ask Jesus to come into my heart twice
on advice of a friend. I wasn't sure if He heard me. But that day was a
miracle in itself. I didn't think I was well-liked or had many
friends. But then, I realized who my real friends are. I am thankful
that God showed me who they were that way. I really needed them then.
I didn't realize was that I needed God. It was around 1:00 or so that
afternoon and I went up to a friend's room. I knew that she was a
born-again Christian and I started talking to her about all of my
problems. I met two other girls, one of them was a freshmen at that
time. I literally cried a river and poured out my heart. I was a
lonely young woman. I knew it. Then she asked me if I believe that
Jesus died for me and that if I believed that Jesus rose on the third
day. I told her that I did. Then she mentioned the word "friends". It
clicked. That was all I remember from that question. However, I have
told her that I will get saved later on that I wanted to go somewhere.
Her warning was to me that tomorrow was promised to no one. These were
not her exact words, but that is what she meant. I am so glad that I
did not hesitate. I prayed with her to receive Jesus as my Lord and
Savior. I saw a mental picture of cherub-like angels on a blue
background. It was a mental painting almost. Everything seemed
different. Things were brighter. One of the girls remarked that I even
looked different. God took my pain away. He had started me on a new
journey. And for that I praise God. Life is better. I still have my
share of problems, but all Christians have their share of problems.
Christians will be persecuted for their faith. I went from barely
reading the Bible from reading and studying the Bible daily. I prayed
mostly in need, but I pray daily. I have changed. Within a year from
that day, I transferred to a new school and graduated two years later. I
have learned how to handle my problems better. Over time, I have grown
to depend on God daily. I have become interested in different things.
I have become a different person. I have become wiser, and I thank God