Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Obsessive thoughts

Allow me to reflect on the thoughts and obsessions that I have been having over the years.  I feel that they have helped me to cope with reality yet has put me in a fantasy world.  Mickey Rourke is a great actor, but in reality, what kind of person is he?  Is he a nice person?  Is he honest?  Is  he introspective?  Or is he a man who lacks morals and decency?  Is he dishonest?  Is he destructive towards himself or others?  The truth is, unless I meet him, I will never know.  He is an image to me after all.

So are other celebrities, including those close to him.  There are people who write books about one another.  I don't know or care about these people.  There is no need to convince myself.  There is no need to think otherwise.  I will never in truth, meet them.  I don't know them.  Other's opinions don't matter and they no longer matter.  What matters is my relationship with God.  That is what matters to me.  Decency, morals, worship, and holiness are good, godly qualities that all believers should strive to have.

Life is way too short to allow these thoughts to take over my life.  That includes my thought life.  It is important to realize that I have to allow these thoughts to pass.  This morning it took nasty thoughts about being yelled at and being physically ill to realize all of this.  It took a new perspective that I had to learn about myself.  I wish that advice would have set me free, but all of those things didn't  help me because I wasn't bored enough.  I am bored with all of it.  I am not sick of these thoughts.  I wish to move on.  That is what I desire.
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