Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Letter to God...wanting more of You



One of my favorite songs is "More, More, More" by Joann Rosario.  I have a question.  What does it mean to want more of You?  Does it mean necesarily to ask for the Holy Spirit for His guidance?  I honestly do not know what it means.  I feel silly for asking You this.  I do want more of You.  I want to know You even more.

Thank You for saving me.  You are my Lord and Savior.  I repent of my sins for I have felt that I am not ready for Your return, but I wonder if that is about doubt or reality.  I am a sinner and I need You always.  I am dependent and have become more dependent on You.

It seems like I am rambling on, but I want to know You more.  I ask You for wisdom, guidance, and direction.  That is something that I had doubts about.  It feels like sometimes that I have not gotten wiser and I am still stuck in the same place.  I feel so alone and overwhelmed.

I have finally learned that the key to no longer being overwhelmed is my no longer taking control because I end up losing control.  I give You total and complete control over every detail of my life and my affairs.  The thoughts I have overwhelmed me.  I have been in need to lose weight, but need must be coupled with want in this case.  My desire is to lose weight.  The truth is, not only do I need to lose weight, I want to lose weight.

I am the kind of person who seemingly expects things to be hard.  It is great when things are so easy, but challenging myself can be a big frustration.  Losing weight is a big challenge but I know the results are well worth it.  I realize that I had to change my mindset in order for things to be manageable.  I needed to change.  I have also come to realize that in order to change, I had to make changes.  Be proactive.  I had to relax and take my time.

I had to be realistic about things.  I was overwhelmed.  I was in dire need of relaxation.  I am glad that I am feeling better about things.  I realize that tomorrow has its own sufficient evil thereof.  All I had to do was take my time and live life day by day.  I had to learn from my mistakes, which are many.  I do wish I had learned them earlier, but I cannot go back.  I am glad that all is well so far. 

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