I wonder if I am too busy blogging or too busy musing. Allow me to explain. Musings are about being deep in thought and I have yet to give a deep thought in a while. I mused about this this afternoon.
I know that I wrote about religion, but was it a muse about religion? I may have written about music, but really? I posted a few vids and that is it. The truth is, music is universal and it soothes the soul. At least it soothes mine, considering what I go through on a daily basis.
It feels like that I am in deep thought. I should always be in deep thought. Hence the word musings in my title. Maybe musings mean thoughts and that is okay. I wish I had written the word thoughts instead of musings. I am in the mood for a lot of introspection.
Tonight I am writing about fantasy vs reality. I live in a fantasy world because reality can suck. Reality often sucks. Yet reality can be a good thing. It keeps one grounded and it keeps one "sane". But fantasy keeps one's mind creative whereas reality can keep one depressed at times. I know what that is like. It can be hard to muse and be introspective when you live in a fantasy world and try to put fantasy and reality together. Therefore, reality wins.
My fantasy world includes what I want things to be. Reality is boring, harsh, depressing, and more mundane. That is what I have learned. I want to be a physically beautful person that men and women are attracted to. I am not gay or bisexual but I have been having these thoughts lately and they are not obsessive thoughts. Therefore, they don't bother me. Obsessive thoughts on the other hand, are a sign of reality. It represents the self-conscious adult with low self esteem yet is always hopeful. It is amazing the insight that I get from just being OCD and bipolar. I only wish that my fantasies would trump my realities sometimes.
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