Friday, April 19, 2013

Cruhes v Obsessions

I have a crush on a man who I think he was and still is handsome.  He is older, but there is a certain level of sexiness about him.  The problem is, I will never meet the guy.  Maybe that is a good thing as he is an actor that I will never, ever meet.

I realize that the crushes that I have on men have told me a few things: 1) I am bi-curious, not bisexual
2) I needed to know the difference between a crush and an obsession.

I now realize that I am obsessed with this guy, which is what I am afraid of.  I was obsessed with a guy who has disrespected me in college.  I thought I was in love with this guy, but it was a crush that turned into an obsession.  Crushes don't hurt, but obsessions do.  That is the big difference.

Crushes aren't degrading, but obsessions can be.  I am obsessed with this actor but I don't have posters of him on my wall or anything like that.  I just like to look at him and such.  Maybe I am overwhelmed with this.

My crush/obsession woke me up.  Huh?

I had a good night's sleep and all of a sudden I woke up with images of him on my mind.  Crushes are not troubling but obsessions are.  I guess because I was in a manic state that would make the obsession much much worse.  Crushes are more like fantasies while obsessions carry over into the real thing.

It makes me muse on how I would handle myself in a relationship.  I am single so I don't have much experience in a relationship.  I would know what not to do in a relationship.  I have not stalked this actor and nor would I go to jail for anyone.  Mentally and physically, I am doing just fine.

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