Thursday, May 15, 2014

My struggle for today

I hope that I am just bloated.  I have gotten so out of shape I can barely move.  I don't know what is really wrong with me.  I wish that I written an entry yesterday but alas, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until some time after 4:00 AM.  That is just my luck.  I hate that I am having such difficulty losing weight.  I need help.

I have PCOS and that makes things even harder than I am making it I guess.  How do I get over a sluggish metabolism?  That is something that worries me.  I don't want to stay this weight.  For years I stayed at a certain weight only to be content then to gain more weight, like I am now.  It took me a while to realize that this will become a cycle if I don't do something about it.

I feel like giving up but I realize that it is not the right thing to do.  I feel bad for wanting to give up but I see those who have an inability to walk even the shortest distances and I feel even worse.  It is so sad to watch but they are on an inspiration to me.  I am not over 400-500 pounds, but being overweight is not healthy.  I am scared for my future and not just my health.

I have even thought about weight loss surgery.  I need, desire, and want to change.  I have thought about weight loss surgery and even weighed the costs but I am still a bit apprehensive.  I realize that I have to take a course of action or I will be unable to move or lack the ability to breathe properly.  I am thankful that I can breathe and walk, but lack the ability to do other things other people take for granted.

I am about 5'2" tall and weigh more than 300 lbs.  This means I have a high BMI thus being at a great risk for a myriad of health problems, some of which I have.  I have worked and worked and failed and failed. Maybe I should start giving myself some advice.

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