I have spent time in the past writing out examples of thoughts that I
have been having. It has been hard to read out those thoughts yet I
have managed to keep them for future reference. I realize that today I
am not 100% better. I have been having obsessive thoughts and suffer
from scrupulosity for a number of years. All I ever wanted was for my
thoughts to weaken. I am happy to say that my thoughts about MR and CO
have weakened. I wrote a rather vulgar story about MR and CO that has
helped me to realize that I don't know them. The chances of my knowing
them are slim to none. I will never know them as far as I know. It is
all vanity; therefore it doesn't matter. I wonder what my stories would
say about them. What would they say about infidelity? These stories
and this paragraph is connected to what I have written last night. I
need to read up my thoughts and change my reaction to these thoughts and
have a different opinion on these scenarios. I need to move and know
how to move forward. If it means to be anxious and feel fear every once
in a while, then so be it.
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