I know that I am listening to Christmas music but I have had a few things on my mind and on my plate. Taking action is important with one of those things. I confess that I am not happy about myself. Waking up and barely able to move and being in pain is something that wouldn't make anyone happy. I cannot "deny" it anymore, nor can I just wish it away. It is simple: I need to lose weight and do something for me. I am at an age where I need to know about myself. I am beginning to learn about myself and I need to stop procrastinating. Just getting out there and doing something has not made me productive. In fact, I believe that is why I am having many of the issues I am having. I have grown tired and fat. I feel bad for allowing my weight to get to the point I got. I have a hormonal condition and it has been a struggle to have. I know this, but I have to take care of myself for a change. I have learned that lesson today with the "bad vibes" that I have. I have also struggled with caring what others think and that has become a burden of mine. I am no longer putting up with things. I am just tired of the burden which has not been good for me or my health. In fact, that has made my health worse. All of the illnesses and other struggles have weighed me down and I need to know that there are things that I need to do. I realize that I feel like I am always in a hurry, but the struggle has been just that, a struggle. Life can be a struggle and it isn't fair, but because it is so short, I have to learn to make the best of life as it is. After all, life is but a vapor.