I don't feel good about my body, especially my stomach. I have great admiration and respect for those women who are like myself who truly love and respect themselves. I have had issues with low self esteem for years and part of it stems from poor body image. I am great at putting my body down and trying to build myself up. I confess that I often look at pictures of women who are slender, toned, usually taller women and I find them attractive. I can see why guys would find them attractive. I am a shorter, heavier body type with a large belly. Some of it is my fault so I feel like I have done a good job punishing myself. On the other hand, I feel bad for feeling bad about myself. Life is just a cycle to me. My thoughts tend to cycle, and so does my weight. One minute I am a lighter and can move around better. The next minute I feel bad about my myself and my lack of accomplishment and I just give up. That has been an issue that I have had for a long long time now and breaking the cycle is the answer. My mind tends to loop and I have been having the same issues over and over and over again. There comes a time when things get too tiresome. This is one of those moments. I am just under 5'2" tall and weigh over 300 lbs. For years I have wondered what it would have been like to look like in high school (1992).
to now, 2015 ~ 300 lbs.
I have been having these unrealistic thoughts for a long time now and it wasn't until today that I realized that the dizziness also may have something to do with what is wrong with me. It is time for me to take action and stay in action. I realize that I am not sure where to begin however. I just don't like the way I look. I just have a hard time believing anything positive about my appearance. I have tried but I am also concerned if even this is a good enough reason to lose weight.