Still going outside the box

I have been doing outlines lately which could be of help as to how I live my life.  I want need because I need help.  Things have been rough for me because of what has held me back.  I wonder what has held me back. No one has held me back more so than me.  I don't know what to do or how to change things.  It has been difficult to change.  Maybe I need to relax.  Maybe that is the problem.  There are too many maybe's and not enough certainties.  I realize that I also need to spend time wisely.  Where do I begin?  Do I begin to read the Bible more?  Do I need to relax more?  Do I need to study more?  What are things that I need and like to do?  Those are things that I have rarely considered.  I would think with who and what I am, I would think that going outside the box would be easy but it hasn't been.  I need to be and I am accountable for my actions and rather, my lack of actions.  I could say now is the time to begin, but I have no clue.