My butt is too small and my stomach is too huge. In fact, my belly is hanging down. I am not comfortable with my body yet I hate the idea of losing weight. I am a diabetic yet I have no desire to lose. I am 100 pounds overweight yet I have learned to like myself more and more and more. I had to embrace that I am flawed. I would be flawed small or large. I am obese and I eat till I eat no more. I realize that that is not a good thing but have I given up? Have I quit on myself? Am I in denial? No, I am not in denial. I am just being honest. The world has their ideas and views. But what are my views and my ideas? Where do I begin? What is causing this lack of desire? Why do I not want to lose weight? How come I am doing a good job of proving others right? Am I too old to have the dream body or am I too young not to know better? I need to make a change, it is obvious. But what do I have love for? Who or what is my one true love?
I don't want to take it anymore but I do take it. I may have lived with reckless abandon. I may be hurting myself and wasting my money on diet programs. I am just tired of the struggle. I am tired of living like the world and doing the world's bidding. I just want to think outside the box. I am relieved. This is the first time I have been honest. This is the first time I feel like being silly and feeling that way. This is also the first time where I have embraced who and what I am. Now that is what I call thinking outside the box.