Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Who I want to be and who I saw

Today I am a bit sore.  It is also my last day of physical therapy.  I look forward to doing the exercises that has been given to me.  Right now, I might have to modify it.  I wasn't sure I was going to finish all of my sessions but I did.  I am so sore from the exercises and the weights that were put on me.  This isn't the first time that I completed a physical therapy session.  In fact, this was my second. Being there was far more of a motivation session that even the first.  I looked at myself in the mirror what I saw I didn't like.  I have to admit that.  I had no issue with the person looking back at me.  I did and still do have an issue with her appearance.  I saw a person who needed and wanted to lose weight.

This time I was going to do something about it.  I finally did.  Right now, while it hasn't been smooth sailing, I am actually learning to deal and actually dealing with the issues that I have.  I could have chosen to go to Weight Watchers meetings.  I lost weight so far so I must be doing something right.  That is what I need to focus on.  A lady gave me some fantastic advice.  This has become my motto: direction not perfection.  I am new to this third time I joined Weight Watchers and one of the reasons for past failures and frustrations was that I was overwhelmed.

I have to deal with being overwhelmed.  For years I was stressed out and I do now wonder how much of a toll stress has taken on me.  I realize that the direction I am going and have to continue going, is forward or northward. My goal was for the perfect day or the perfect weight. The truth is I had no set goal.  The good news is now I do.  There are things that would go a long way into losing weight and a set goal is a large one.  As a person who has a "perfectionist" personality, I began to give up on myself.  I finally realized that the answer to consistency in losing weight is to not only persevere but to expect and embrace the positives of this journey.  I love this going the long way as if I were a tortoise.  I now see the big picture by taking a few small steps.

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