Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Staying stuck in the past
I have having issues with the past. I have been laughed at, called names, and generally made fun of. I also cared what people thought. It didn't help that not only was I overweight but I was self-conscious and overweight. The truth is, I am not being laughed at, called names, or made fun of. Life can be a struggle for me but I realize it has been my thoughts all along. I was the one who was bullied and had low self-esteem. The thing is I was unforgiving, resentful, sad, and stuck in the past. The truth is, there is nothing I can do about it. I have had thoughts about being among the bullied and made fun of. I found myself alone and unpopular. Because of this, I still found myself self-conscious and unhappy. The problem really became my thoughts of only negative memories instead of what happened really in my life. I struggled with a mindset that only saw the negative instead of the positive and realistic. I thought that others hated me and it had an effect on me. There has been much self-talk over the years and it has been at best depressing. I was the most hated person there was. I didn't see myself the way God saw and still sees me. That is what happened to me. Nowadays I can do something about. I was the one people downed and laughed at, but I realize that I that I don't have to stay that way and for that, I am thankful.