Thursday, January 15, 2015

Enemy of God?

I feel like hitting a brick wall.  That is because I feel like someone is poking or rubbing my skin.  I even feel like someone has hit me.  Why is that?  It is because of feel guilty and unworthy.  If only I were smarter (in common sense), prettier, or had the ability to fit in, then maybe I would have been treated better.  I have been told that I am nice.  I have a beautiful personality.  Yep the common fat girl comment.  I have decided to do something about it.  It hit me this weekend when I had the thought that I was being a friend of the world, but an enemy to God.  Was that what I was doing?  Is this a form of OCD?  What does it mean to be an enemy of God?  I would think that it means that one is either too caught up in the things of the world or one who keeps sinning without regard.  Someone who is adulterous keeps on cheating either without regard because of selfish or they have other reasons to cheat and it is not focused on God.  Maybe that is the problem.  I have been so focused on the world that it has caused me to not be focused on God.  However, does having low self esteem makes me an enemy despite my being a Christian?  Caring what others think could definitely have an impact on pretty much the quality of one's life.  But could it have an effect on one's own soul?  I guess so, I guess not.  Maybe I am just misinterpreting this verse.  All I know is that I found it interesting that I have been convicted of this very verse in the first place.
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