Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Last night I found myself just being a bit too mindful. It was a manic high, a high that I don't want. Being bipolar can be so difficult at times. The manic highs and the depressives lows are bad enough. I realize that there are things that I have done that make no sense in the grand scheme of things. Last night I was so focused on reading from a gossip website that it was as if I wasted a lot of time. The truth is, I did waste a lot of time. That was a moment of taking me back to old school that I do not want. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder since my teens and it hasn't always been so easy. There were times when I even wondered if I was bipolar. The truth is, I am. I am not ashamed of being bipolar since it is not my fault. There are times when I feel guilty and recently has been no exception. It was as if I "fell off" somewhat. That was and still is how I feel. I just haven't been concentrating as much as I should. I believe that I need to relax and just be better focused.