Monday, February 17, 2014
My new outlook
Today I have an outlook that I never thought that I had. I think it is important to start off small because I want to actually finish my project. My project at the moment is losing weight. I have issues with finishing a project because the task seems so overwhelming. I want to lose the weight and keep it off. I want to be fit and healthy. I want to fit into a smaller wardrobe. I, like no one I know, like clothes that are too tight-fitting. It is quite embarrassing and humiliating. I am thankful that I have a nice wardrobe, but I want a more expanded wardrobe. It is unfair that larger women don't have as much to choose from compared to smaller women. We even have to pay more. I would like to be comfortable, healthy, fit, and be able to see and feel the benefits of losing weight. Ironically I realize that it wasn't my weight that was THE root of my issues, it was me. I get so overwhelmed because I am not a patient person and I fear that I will never reach my goal. I would like to prove myself wrong and not worry about what the negative voices in my head says. It doesn't feel good that I compare myself to other women who are smaller. The root is from being self-conscious about gaining so much weight over the years. The truth is, I want to lose weight and be leaner, but I would like to lose weight because of the "bonuses" of losing weight.