Wednesday, September 18, 2013

My mind with OCD

My mind is clear.  I feel very good right now.  My mind is calm.  That is a key to managing OCD, having a calm mind.  A person having a calm mind also has a calm body in my belief.  However, that is just anxiety.  Life is difficult per se, but I hate having these thoughts sometimes.  I often have thoughts about bullying and infidelity.  I wonder why people do the things they do.  It makes no sense to me but the OCD has a mind of its own.  It is up to me to decide whether or not I control what comes out of my head or if my mind controls me.  I will always have thoughts, but what do I do with them?  Do I "expose" the thoughts for what they really are, or do I ruminate over them, tell a story of those thoughts, and try to let the thoughts pass?  I like the first option better, but writing exposes the thoughts and help to let them pass.  Ruminating over the thoughts produce more anxiety and keeps one busy with the thoughts.  Try putting myself in those situations is next to impossible as well because each scenario is the opposite of what I am.  I am not a serial adulteress and I haven't been bullied lately.  Why do I have these thoughts?  I have my theories, but I realize that does not matter, especially when I consider the grand scheme of things.  They are insignificant though they don't always seem to be sometimes.  The truth is, they just don't matter.  It will never change or solve anything.  That is my musing for today.
Post a Comment