I am optimistic that turns will turn out well, especially where obsessive thoughts are concerned. I have been having issues with obsessive thoughts and I have come to accept that thoughts will come. It is what I do with them that is important. I have learned that in the grand scheme of things, those things are not the big deal my mind says they are. I just have to let the thoughts pass, as hard as that is. I even have obsessive thoughts about fictional characters. The fictional characters are cheating or are usually cheated on and that is not a pleasant feeling. I in reality don't care, but I would be lying if my mind doesn't make me care. They produce feelings in me that I don't like like hatred, anger, or just being plain upset. I hate having those feelings and I wonder if I don't feel that way about people in the subconscious. It is as if I hate to have those feelings that other people have about a situation, if that makes any sense.
There was another light bulb moment that I had and that was about my weight. I allowed the stress to upset me and thus I failed to see the real issue, which was my impatience about my weight. It has been slow because I lose on average less than a pound a week. I had to change my diet and my mindset. I also need to take better care of myself and I need to be even more active than I am now. I haven't always eaten in moderation and that is my fault.
I take full responsibility for my actions and for my health. I didn't have a healthy mind or mindset. Neither do I have the healthy body. I had a light bulb moment about a lifestyle change where I take better care of myself. I have been self-conscious about my body and I would like to change that. I also don't have the highest self esteem. I would like to change my attitude and my mindset, which are the biggest issues. The issue was what was really eating me and it was the stress that I put on myself.
I hope that I can use what I have learned as motivation so that I can lose the weight and keep it off.
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