Saturday, March 23, 2013

I have a crush on this guy and it is getting annoying.

I have been diagnosed as being bipolar and obsessive compulsive. Both of them are on overdrive yet not at the same time. Right now, I am wide awake and I wonder if I am wrong. There is supposed to be a link between bipolar disorder and OCD. I have a crush on this guy but it may be a borderline obsession. It has gotten to the point where I am waking up and seeing this guy's face even when I am trying to sleep. It is getting annoying. I have a supportive family but I rather keep this one to myself feeling that they would not understand. I need to talk to my counselor about this and I may need to change the doses of my medications. I take prozac, lamictal, and abilify for my conditions and I am concerned that things are getting worse.

I have crushes on people ever since I was a kid. My crush in college was my most memorable. It became an obsession to the point where I felt like I made a fool of myself for him, even though he had a girlfriend, who was a good friend of mine. He didn't seem to like me but he tried to be nice to me, but it was as if I wouldn't listen. I will never get that kind of reaction from a pro wrestler, singer, or actor.

Is it possible for bipolars to have crushes that can cause sleepless nights, nervousness, or irritability? I even like to watch movies about women who obsess with unavailable men I guess because I can relate. This famous actor is successful and I think about him every waking moment. Is this normal or is this from the bipolar? Are crushes symptoms of mania? Do bipolars tend to have as great an insight into their disorder like OCD sufferers do to theirs?

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