Anyways, I don't have the social life that I would like to have. However, I am proud to have the comforts of home, health (what I have), and love. That is something I am thankful for. This morning I was reading up an article about racism and how it permeates every aspect of our lives. I began to look forward to Jesus' return. Without Him, I believe that there would be no hope. Racism will come to an end. Sadly, I have no idea how to become a salt and light to the world. I have had this feeling for years that I need to carry the burden of the world on my shoulders, whether it is personal relationships or infidelity.
I have had thoughts about infidelity for many years now and though it has gotten easier, I am not cured. It is discouraging to know that I will never be cured. I did pray for a cure, however. I also had obsessive thoughts (and obsessions), about other people, namely famous people, living or dead, other countries and their issues, politics, and I have the fear of going to Hell. I have had fears of getting hit, yelled at, or that something bad will happen to me. Sometimes the anxiety is more intense.
I often don't know what to do, or say, but now I have finally realized that I need to see the obsessions and compulsions differently. I have noticed that what is mundane becomes exaggerated. I have even written stories about them. Of course, they mirror my thoughts, but I become anxious even judgmental with people who do wrong, despite the fact that that is what I do. It is as if I am a hypocrite. How do I get to the point of acceptance? Right now, I am starting to understand. I am glad that things haven't worsened, though it took many years to do so.
I have had thoughts about infidelity for many years now and though it has gotten easier, I am not cured. It is discouraging to know that I will never be cured. I did pray for a cure, however. I also had obsessive thoughts (and obsessions), about other people, namely famous people, living or dead, other countries and their issues, politics, and I have the fear of going to Hell. I have had fears of getting hit, yelled at, or that something bad will happen to me. Sometimes the anxiety is more intense.
I often don't know what to do, or say, but now I have finally realized that I need to see the obsessions and compulsions differently. I have noticed that what is mundane becomes exaggerated. I have even written stories about them. Of course, they mirror my thoughts, but I become anxious even judgmental with people who do wrong, despite the fact that that is what I do. It is as if I am a hypocrite. How do I get to the point of acceptance? Right now, I am starting to understand. I am glad that things haven't worsened, though it took many years to do so.
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