Imagine Me Without You by Jaci Velasquez

It is scary to think that I lived without God.  Now I can't imagine my life without God.  God isn't a co-pilot.  He is the Pilot.  He is the General.  He is our Leader.  He is our Savior.  Let Him lead and guide.  You will not be disappointed.  No matter what one faces, He is greater than all of that.

Vanilla pound cake

Here is my recipe for vanilla pound cake:

Ingredients:

3 cups self rising flour
2 cups sugar
2 sticks of softened butter or margarine
1/4 cup vanilla extract
3 large eggs
1-2 teaspoons milk

Directions:

In a large mixing bowl, add the softened butter and beat.  Then mix in the sugar.  After the sugar and butter have been well mixed, slowly add in the eggs and pour in the vanilla extract.  The mixture will be creamy.  Once the mixture is creamy or fluffy, slowly add in the flour and mix scraping the sides of the bowl so that all of the batter is mixed in.  Slowly, pour in a lightly greased and floured baking pan.  Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for an hour.  Once the cake is ready, cool for about 30 minutes to an hour.  Then serve.

Obsessions and being a believer

It is only morning, but I felt like writing this.  I have been having obsessive thoughts I guess for most of my life and all of my adulthood.  Having these thoughts is hard and frustrating.  The blessing in disguise is that they have gotten me closer and more dependent on the Lord.  That is what is happening now.  I will always have these thoughts, and I will have to accept that and accept them.  However, I know and realize that they are only temporary compared to what happens in eternity. 

I wonder what Heaven will be like, because I don't plan on going to Hell. One of the most frustrating thoughts that I have had lasted for a long time.  It is about my going to Hell when I die.  We should all be worried about our souls and the condition of our souls.  Where are we going to end up?  Are we ready?  Have we received Christ as our Lord and Savior?  Those things that all of us should think about every day.  We must test ourselves to see if we are of the faith.  Our works and how we live our life should be proof that we are for real so to speak.

It is sad that there are many people who profess Christianity don't act like real Christians.  They are hypocrites and are among the deceived in the world.  But Jesus is their hope.  They don't have to remain how they are and where they are.  Let us take heed that no man deceives us.  I have been deceived and there are times that I feel that I behave like a total hypocrite, but God saved me from that.

I have been saved when I was a teenager.  Everything that would go wrong in my life did of course.  I feel like life was not worth living.  I was bipolar and had suicidal thoughts.  My grades were down and my roommate and I did not get along.  I even thought about or tried to commit suicide once, but decided against it.  It was a rough time.  Jesus saved me.  Now I am no longer suicidal and don't have suicidal thoughts.  I hope that I have grown much over the years.  I feel like God is a God of miracles and He certainly is.  My life is living proof.

I didn't realize that until now.  I had another light bulb moment; that was just my moment.  Maybe I can handle anything, including having obsessive thoughts.  It can be hard, but I ask God to help me do what is hard and that is to let the thoughts pass and not lelt them control me.  Being a Christian is not an easy ride.  You have to struggle and sacrifice.  I pray and wonder about those who have been truly persecuted. I cannot imagine what they are going through.  Being a Christian is the best life a person can have.

How easy is it to lose weight?

Yesterday I had another light bulb moment.  It is that losing weight is easier than I thought.  That is, if only I would put my mind to actually losing the weight.  I have fears about losing weight which I need to overcome.

Thinking that putting my mind into something is a great way to motivate someone.  That in turn makes me hopeful.

What also makes me hopeful is being grateful.  It clears my head and helps me to see what is important.  I am grateful that I lost weight.  I lost almost 30 lbs.  I feel so much better about not only losing the weight, but also that I am proud of the fact that I stuck it out and never truly gave up.  However, it was hard for me to go on and hard for me to give up.  I would be only hurting myself if I did give up.

I am glad that I did not give up.  I thought that I had to think of the alternative, which is to stay stressed and still stick it out.  So sticking it out was better to me than giving up, eating, struggling, eating, and starting all over again.  I lost all of this weight only to gain it back?  No way.  That was not going to happen.

Thanks be to God that I am on track.  I don't want to really type this, but this is really going to be a struggle.  I feel that I am doing so much better but I have a long way to go.  I want to lose an extra 70+ pounds and I am on a smoother path.  I think that losing the weight will be much, much easier.  I am motivated and more than willing to do the work that I need to do to lose weight.

Light bulb moments

I am optimistic that turns will turn out well, especially where obsessive thoughts are concerned.  I have been having issues with obsessive thoughts and I have come to accept that thoughts will come.  It is what I do with them that is important.  I have learned that in the grand scheme of things, those things are not the big deal my mind says they are.  I just have to let the thoughts pass, as hard as that is.  I even have obsessive thoughts about fictional characters.  The fictional characters are cheating or are usually cheated on and that is not a pleasant feeling.  I in reality don't care, but I would be lying if my mind doesn't make me care.  They produce feelings in me that I don't like like hatred, anger, or just being plain upset.  I hate having those feelings and I wonder if I don't feel that way about people in the subconscious.  It is as if I hate to have those feelings that other people have about a situation, if that makes any sense. 

There was another light bulb moment that I had and that was about my weight.  I allowed the stress to upset me and thus I failed to see the real issue, which was my impatience about my weight.  It has been slow because I lose on average less than a pound a week.  I had to change my diet and my mindset.  I also need to take better care of myself and I need to be even more active than I am now.  I haven't always eaten in moderation and that is my fault.

I take full responsibility for my actions and for my health.  I didn't have a healthy mind or mindset.  Neither do I have the healthy body.  I had a light bulb moment about a lifestyle change where I take better care of myself.  I have been self-conscious about my body and I would like to change that.  I also don't have the highest self esteem.  I would like to change my attitude and my mindset, which are the biggest issues.  The issue was what was really eating me and it was the stress that I put on myself.

I hope that I can use what I have learned as motivation so that I can lose the weight and keep it off.

Good and bad things

I am such a pessimistic person or rather cynical.  That is something that I need to change.  There is good in the world and there are many good people.I need to be more positive.  Maybe I should write about them.

There are many touching moments that occur in the world.  There is a lot of love and loyalty left.  The most positive news that ever occured in history is the fact that Jesus saves.  Something so negative turned into something so beautiful.  Jesus is the Picture of Friendship, Love, Sacrifice, and Loyalty.

I thank Him for saving me, and for dying on the cross for me.  Being loyal is a great attribute for a person to have.  I feel like writing about loyalty because it has been on my mind early this morning.  Loyal people tend to be good people.  They make best friends, and the best spouses.  I know I write much about the male/female dynamic, but it has also been on my mind.

I know that I can write about it.  But my problem is that I write too much about the bad things not just because they happen, but because of my mindset and what I have been exposed to.  I have been stressed out over the years about the state of the world that I felt that I couldn't help but being pessimistic.  Then I came to a realization that being a pessimistic person doesn't change anything about the world.  It certainly doesn't change anything about the world that is literally around me.  In fact, pessimism may make things worse.  Imagine a world where there is more optimism, loyalty, and integrity.  I can.

Divorce

I wish I knew about relationships between men and women from a personal standpoint, but I don't.  I am not in a relationship but I know what is right and what is wrong.  Infidelity is wrong, fornication is wrong, and every other form of disrespecting your spouse.  It is sad that some men and women cannot trust their own spouses, the person they share their homes and families with.  I wish that all of us would take marriage seriously, but many don't. 

It has been on my mind since I have read about a famous person who may be going through a rough divorce with his soon to be ex-wife.  The saddest thing is that they have children together.  Is there a selfishness when it comes to this issue?  I don't know, but one thing is for sure:  the children come first.

Divorce is not something God takes lightly and neither does marriage.  I guess marriage is hard.  This is a sad state of affairs with no-fault divorces and the seemingly increasing divide between men and women.  This story upset me because of the lack of trust and respect between the spouses.  It is even worse when there are children involved.  I wonder how people have become so selfish.  I wonder a lot of things.  But the answer is sin.  Sin is lawlessness.  It is breaking God's laws yet we are all sinful beings.  Everyone except Jesus has walked on this planet has been and are sinners. 

Some of us are struggling with sin to this day.  Divorce is ugly, regardless if it is amicable or not.  I am a romantic and it is sad when a couple splits up.  It is so sad.  Divorce isn't always the answer to one's marital problems.