Growing tired and reflecting

I am growing tired of being sick and tired.  I laid it out there for God from my weight to my social life to my obsession with Mickey Rourke. 

I have been obsessed with Mickey Rourke for just a while now and it is bothering me.  I need to get out more.  It doesn't matter why, but I find him sexy for his age and rather attractive.  He was hot when he was younger. But now, I feel that it is getting out of hand.  I am no stalker; I just like to look at pics of him and watch his movies.  Diner was a good film and he did well on "The Expendables" and he was the best part of "Iron Man 2".  "Iron Man 2" suffered from a lack of Mickey Rourke, lack of a backstory, and good editing.  But other than that, I thought it was fun to watch.  It wasn't that horrible.  "The Expendables" and "Diner" are not for kids, but they were also fun to watch.  I have yet to watch a Mickey Rourke movie that was truly bad (I have heard some clunkers.) or a bad performance from him. (The guy is just that good an actor.)

Anyways, I have begun to grow tired.  I have suffered from being overwhelmed long enough.  I have to realize that self-control and a lack of patience are not things that I use as excuses.  I have a good enough mind as to where I have the free will to make a choice.  I can choose to eat cake or I can choose not to eat a slice of cake, for example.  Self-control is very important if not vital to Christian living.  Without it, we would live as if we don't have a strong enough foundation, at least spiritually and we could end up suffering spiritually, emotionally, and pychologically.

My weight is another matter.  The good news is I lost more than 30 lbs.  The bad news is I am losing it too slow, but that may be due to my having PCOS.  I make too many excuses I believe.  It is one thing to be aware that I have PCOS but it is another thing to use it as an excuse or a crutch.  I hope that the former rather than the latter is true in my case.  In either case, it requires some reflection on my part.

How to deal with stress has gotten easier.  I am a person who would be prone to heart disease because I am diabetic and other issues including stress.  Stress is like a wave I guess.  The bigger the wave the more devastation it can cause.  I will have to meditate on that one.