Volumes

As I look back into my life I realize that there are things that have run my life and it is not me.  I have been controlled by fear and not faith.  Fear is the false evidence of things that appear real.  They appear real because they are real and fear does exist.  I have many fears and it has impeded my faith a lot.

I have been controlled by what others think of me.  It speaks volumes about my self-esteem.  I have to affirm myself and now I have to apply those affirmations to my life.  It has become a daily thing.  I write and copy these affirmations but I have to believe that those affirmations are true.

I often pray the same prayers over and over again.  Should I feel okay with that or should I try a new prayer?  Am I thankful enough?  Am I mindful enough?  How do I overcome fear?  I just complain too much.  That speaks volumes of how I truly see things.

I need to change.  I want to change.  I desire to change.  I am not sure if God only helps those who help themselves.  What would God do for those who can't help themselves?  How about those who have a lack of wisdom or guidance?  What does that mean anyway?  That statement seems rather limiting of God's power and it speaks volumes about the faith of those who agree with that statement however they interpret it.

The volumes that one's action speak speak to one's own character.  It has been said that what a person is in private is who they really are.  It is also true that a person's character is measured by how they deal with another person or a situation in times of trouble.  I hope that this reveals a person who is not only willing to change but is making progress.