PCOS and fears, part 2

Then something happened.  I began to lose weight and feel healthier.  I began to feel less self-conscious about my appearance because I was indeed getting smaller.  I could fit into old clothes yet I had to go through websites to affirm my self-worth.  I went to plus size friendly websites to affirm my self-worth and appearance.  Then something happened.  Overtime, after I was starting to lose weight I began to “gradually” gain weight.  Now weight gain coupled with anxiety and difficulty taking care of myself left me even more self-conscious and with lower self-esteem.

I began to diet and eat 1500 calories.  I lost over 28 lbs. and it felt good.  I realize how large I was and how much help I needed when 277 lbs. was considered small for me, especially at this time.  I wanted to weigh 200 lbs., but right now, I want to weigh 160 lbs., which is a much healthier weight for me.  My body fat percentage will be at least healthy.  Needless to say, I gained the 28 lbs. back plus extra.

I now weigh 311 lbs. at my highest by this point.  I had to do something about it.  I was overwhelmed and it was urgent that I lost weight.  I didn’t want to stay over 300 lbs.  So I turned things over to the Lord and because of how much I wanted to lose weight I started to first formulate my own plan.  Needless to say, the plan was working.  I was actually losing weight.  As of today I weigh 282 lbs. but I still want to weigh 160 lbs.  I have my fears about that.  How am I going to deal with them?  How am I going to solve them?  I finally realize how to deal with my fears.  I had to be realistic and not afraid to be realistic.  I have an issue with self-sabotage.  I cannot afford to reward myself so much that I will be off-track with my diet.

Then I realize this is about a whole lifestyle change.  I think it is about a lifestyle change.  I had to be honest as well as realistic.  I am afraid that I will not eat in moderation.  I am afraid that I will not exercise and take action.  I realize that I needed to be proactive.  I needed to take charge.  I didn’t want to feel alone.  Losing weight became less urgent because I became more patient.  Patience has become more of a virtue because of my weight loss.  I no longer took the most mundane things for granted.  But I had to find strengths and weaknesses so far and work on those weaknesses.  I am afraid that I will “go off” this diet and not realize that I have a condition that puts me at even a greater risk for heart disease and even strokes.

I am a young woman and I don’t want to have diabetes complications.  I don’t want to have a stroke.  I don’t want to have a heart attack.  I in fact don’t want to be self-conscious anymore.  I have all of these goals and all of this information and it was overwhelming.  I fear not exercising and feel guilty.  I fear feeling guilty and being so honest and realistic like this.  However, this has been a blessing in disguise.  I have learned to confront my fears, in which the greatest is self-sabotage.  This may be something that I have to learn to deal with.  Yet ironically, I am still following a plan and writing this journal.  I feel so much better now that I can deal with the fears and cares of this life.  I even formulated a more realistic plan to help me deal with eating a limited amount of calories a day.  I struggled with eating a small amount of calories per day but diet and exercise have been of great help.  I fear that I won’t lose the weight and keep it off.  I also fear that my doubts will take over and that I won’t follow the plan to lose weight.  I just have so many fears on my plate because this is such an undertaking, but I know that the journey will be well-worth it.

 

PCOS and fears, part 1

I have PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  It affects my hormones which in turn have an effect on my weight, skin, hair, and menstrual cycle.  This in turn affects my overall health and well –being.  Here is my story.  When I was in my teens I was teased about my weight and my facial hair.  I wasn’t self-conscious about my appearance yet I was hurt by the comments.  I was never a thin person but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings. 

As an adult I realize that I may have PCOS and I did research on the syndrome.  It wasn’t a disease, but it has been linked with many health issues such as irregular menstrual cycles, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and of course, diabetes, which I have all of them.  I have to realize that I have this problem and that it can be “fixed” sort of speak.  I have to diet and exercise.  I have to take care of myself.  I have become lazy over the years.

I was in denial about my weight and I was also in denial about my health.  I remember when I first received the “diabetes kit” (meter and lancet), I could no longer deny what was going on.  I have diabetes.  I was embarrassed as to what others think about my diabetes.  I was getting warnings about it for years because I have a family history of the disease and I am overweight.  I have been struggling with my weight much of my life.

I was a healthy weight for a while only to gain it back and then some.  I felt comfortable about my weight even for a while despite the fact that I became self-conscious later in life.  I could still wear nice clothes and it wasn’t a struggle.  However, when I tried them on and saw my body, I became self -conscious.  My stomach “ruined” my body.  I wondered how I could allow myself to look this way.  I felt guilty about my weight because I have gained so much over the years.  I went from 165-246 pounds, though it has been up and down.  I would lose the weight to keep it off and I had difficulty dieting and exercising.

Then something happened.  I began to lose weight and feel healthier.  I began to feel less self-conscious about my appearance because I was indeed getting smaller.  I could fit into old clothes yet I had to go through websites to affirm my self-worth.  I went to plus size friendly websites to affirm my self-worth and appearance.  Then something happened.  Overtime, after I was starting to lose weight I began to “gradually” gain weight.  Now weight gain coupled with anxiety and difficulty taking care of myself left me even more self-conscious and with lower self-esteem.

I began to diet and eat 1500 calories.  I lost over 28 lbs. and it felt good.  I realize how large I was and how much help I needed when 277 lbs. was considered small for me, especially at this time.  I wanted to weigh 200 lbs., but right now, I want to weigh 160 lbs., which is a much healthier weight for me.  My body fat percentage will be at least healthy.  Needless to say, I gained the 28 lbs. back plus extra.

Motivating myself to lose weight

I wonder if I was pretty. I have always wondered that. My self-esteem was something I had to work on all my life. I still have to wonder that even if I lost the weight. Even if others thought I was or am pretty, or have a pretty face, I still think that I am okay or above average looking. Would I be prettier if I lost weight? Do I shallow reasons for wanting to lose weight? I admit that I do. I want to feel better and be more confident in my own skin. But I have come to realize that I have to think of myself as beautiful inside and out regardless if I weigh 300 pounds, 200 pounds, or 100 pounds. My self-worth or definition of beauty cannot or should not be determined by the world’s standards or the scale.

 I just want to look and feel good. But I have to work at it. Maybe I don’t look so bad after all. Maybe it is just insecurity talking. I would however, like to fit into my old clothes and pay less for clothes. I may have to always buy from the plus size section considering that I realistically have a large frame. It would be nice to buy something that isn’t plus size and not as expensive however. Plus size clothes thankfully have come a long way from the more expensive and not so pretty to something that has more variety. Though I dare say it is still more expensive.

Motivating myself

I am self-conscious about my weight.  I felt guilty about gaining so much weight over the years.  I was more than 140 pounds smaller in high school.  Over the years there were times when I felt guilty.  I felt better when I lost weight and I got compliments.  I have PCOS, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and I am clinically obese.  I realize that I can take care of all of these.  I take meds for all of these conditions.  I don’t want to gain any more weight or continue on the path that I am on.  I am lucky and surviving.  But I want to be blessed and thriving.  The only person who can do that for me is me and the only way I can do that is by diet and exercise.  I am fairly active, so why not start.

 I lost 30 pounds or so, so why am I writing about the motivation to lose weight?  I am at a plateau and I want to lose even more.  I am not fully comfortable where I am at and I still have those same health issues.  I am now about to do mundane things like being able to take the stairs without being worn out and taking a shower.   Those things have taught me not to take the most mundane things for granted.  I do not like how I look in pictures sometimes. 

Dietary strengths; what am I doing right so far?

Strengths

·         Lost 30 lbs.

·         Eat in moderation for breakfast and dinner

·         Moving around and relatively active

·         Follow a schedule isn’t so hard

·         Plans meals in advance

·         Drink 6-8 servings of water per day

·         Meal plans

·         Have information to follow

·         Motivation

·         Grocery shopping to lose weight

·         Have created own weight loss plan that have stuck to

·         Affirming myself

·         Renewing my mind daily

·         Will and drive to continue to lose weight

·         Set plan is coming into play

·         Want to know myself more

·         Respect and love myself and continue learning to do so

·         Spiritual person who loves the Lord

·         Drink soda every once in a while that is usually 0 calories

·         Cut back on sugary drinks

·         Cut back on fried foods

·         Eat fruits, vegetables, whole grains, dairy, and proteins

Positive motivation to lose weight

I am more motivated than ever to continue losing weight.   I have realized that I have got to stop comparing myself to other people.  I wish that I had that light bulb moment but at least I have that now.  I am an overweight diabetic but I can change that and I have been changing it.  I have lost 30 lbs. and that makes me smile.  I am able to fit in my clothes and I am happy about that.  I am able to breathe better and I have learned so far not to take life for granted.  I feel better and less self-conscious about my appearance.  The only thing that I wished was that I would be more thankful and more positive about myself.  I have gotten wiser and healthier as a result of the hard work I have put in.  I am no longer fearful of gaining weight as I am able to bend down and do other things that those who are thinner take for granted.  I have learned that happiness comes from within yet at the same time I feel a lot better as I lose weight.  Losing just 30 lbs. is a big accomplishment for me.  I didn’t think that I could do it but I can and I did it.  It is easier for me to take the stairs and even to walk.  Just the little things have become big miracles.  I was being negative thinking I was being realistic.  I am learning to stand on my own two feet and learning to see myself in a positive light.  For this much that I have written, I am grateful.

Who is a mother?

A mother is...
A friend..
A lover of her children...
A rock....
An underestimated, underrated woman...
A confidant...
A librarian...
A guard...
A disciplinarian...
A person worthy of honor, love, and respect

The Bible says to honor thy mother and thy father.  This is a rule for a strong, happier family.  This can be a hard rule to follow.  It is our parents who gave us life, but it is God who is the Creator.  Children are a gift from God.  We should respect one another.

Looking down on someone because of their looks

We are more of a politically correct society in which some of us are above mocking and others arent' like fat people it seems. My question is, why does it seem to cool and acceptable for some to mock fat people in general? I am overweight and I am no prude or politically correct. But it seems that some hate overweight people or have some sort of prejudice against overweight people and it makes no sense to me. It seems okay to judge overweight people in some people's mind. I was teased for not being thin enough and it is hurtful. I think it is sad that people do this to make themselves feel better.

Women don't like to be called fat. To some, it is the worst thing to be called. It is no wonder that there are some women who go to extra lengths to lose weight and try to go the extra mile to ft that standard. It is even more acceptable to make fun of very skinny people, people who are dark-skinned (especially true in the black community--I'm black by the way.), people who just don't fit a certain beauty standard. Ironically almost no one fits that standard and even the "beautiful" people have to work hard to maintain that standard which is not the most realistic standard. Is it just that some individuals have gotten nastier over time? Whatever happened to health, fitness, well-being, and self-respect, oh, and character and morals in our culture?

Even so, come Lord Jesus

Even so, come Lord Jesus.  I for one look forward to the day that Jesus returns.

Miracles still do happen

In Hebrews 11:1, "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Miracles require even the smallest of faith. Miracles can and still do happen today. Jesus is the same for all time. Miracles did not stop in the first century. In fact, little miracles happen everyday. Just because science cannot not concretely prove them does not mean that they do not happen.

Genesis 6-8 tells of Noah, a righteous man whose family, including himself was spared during thedestruction of the world. At that time, the world was filled with unrighteousness and corruption and Noah and his family were found to be the only righteous people on the earth. God spared them because of their obedience to Him, just as God will spare us and be gracious to us when we walk in obedience. Many people would not concretely believe in a man who built an ark filled with seven other people and plenty of animals. Then the flood water destroyed the world full of sin and spared those in the ark. Then a rain came for 40 days and 40 nights. But those who believe do not doubt that this has happend in that time and feel that it will happen in our lifetime. The point is, miracles involve having confidence that an occurrence will happen even if the world's logic says it is impossible.

There are stories of people who have survived deadly car crashes, falls, and incurable illnesses. In fact, if you read the gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke, Jesus has healed a woman with an issue of blood. He rasied a young girl to life. He brought back Lazarus, a man he loved, to life. He himself was raised from the dead by God on the third day. That is why salvation in itself is a miracle. The last enemy that will be destroyed is death (1 Cor 15). Jesus conquered death, hell, and hte grave. In Revelation 20-21, the present system of things will end and death and hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is reserved of the enemies of God and those who do not believe.

Salvation is a miracle. Jesus Christ was indeed raised by God. He suffered much for us. He was tried, spat upon, beat, mocked, judged, and executed. He knows what it's like to be in travail, to be bullied and ridiculed, to be judged, and to suffer need. He was treated horribly, yet did nothing wrong. The crowd chose a guilty criminal over Him yet He sacrificed Himself for us. The miracle is that in three days, his tomb was empty. Jesus had risen from the dead. Our salvation is possible because of what he did for us. Jesus is a miracle worker and yet performed the ultimate miracle: that the gulf between man and God might be bridged. All you have to do is call on the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead. (Romans 10:9-10) With Jesus all things are possible. Trust in Him. Whatever your need is, whatever your miracle is, call on Him, whether it is forgiveness, finances, or salvation.

Is Jesus the Lord of Your Life?

Idolatry is simply put, the worship and adoration of any representation that is on earth or in the heavens. Any one who puts anyone or anything before God is an idolater; idolatry is an abomination before God. God is a jealous God and desires that only He is to be worshipped. John 4:24 is about seeking those who will worship Him in Spirit and in truth. Idolators cannot worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth because they worship images. Their gods are false.

The Bible writes of gods who can neither speak nor hear. Their eyes are not opened because they cannot see. They cannot answer prayer, nor are they creators of life. They are created by man. Paul writes in Romans 1 of idolators and those of the world who were neither thankful. They did not glorify God nor worship Him in spirit and in truth for they were unrepentant in their deeds. They were sinful and godless. Idolators are foolish in that they worship impersonal gods some of which are either embodiments of people or are themselves humans. Human beings cannot forgive sin for we are fallible. We can be used as instruments of God, but that does not mean we are gods, nor should we as humans expect others to worship any of us.

Idolators are foolish in that they are missing out in the blessings that worshipping the True God brings. They don't realize how good they would have it worshipping the Lord because they are outside the kingdom of God. They are deceived into thinking someone or something else is worthy of greater adoration than He. Idols or other gods do not love us. They will not show us mercy nor can they save or deliver. They are cold and lifeless. They are devoid of love and compassion. They should be forsaken and not appeased. They cannot bring everlasting joy and peace. They certainly cannot bring everlasting life. Only our Heavenly Father can do that for He alone can answer prayer. He is the Only God that is worthy of fear and reverence. He is omnipotent and omniscient; He knows all and sees all.

None of the other gods or idols are eternal, for they are corruptible and bring about corruption. The end for idolators is destruction. Unrepentant idolators, those who go "whoring after other gods" will have their part in the Lake of Fire. They are amongst those outside of the gates of the city for they are unbelievers for they have not been forgiven, born-again Christians, or followers of Christ. They have degraded themselves for false gods in exchange for appeasement against disaster, sickness, and death. Those who believe in and follow the Lord Jesus do not degrade themselves. They love, serve, and honor only the Lord. Jesus Christ is their only Lord and only He can save.

Repent of idolatry, for Jesus is the Only Way, Truth, and Life and no man can come to the Father except Him. He is the Vine and the Husbandman. He is faithful and True. Who or what is your God? Buddha? Allah? Money? Sex? Don't let it stand in the way of having a relationship with Jesus Christ. Turn to Him, for He alone can save and deliver. No other god can do that.

Verses to Read: Exodus 20:3-6, Leviticus 17, 19, Deuternomy 7, 28, 1 Kings, 2 Kings, Books of Hosea, Jeremiah, and Lamentations, Habbakuk 2:18-20, Romans 1:18-24, Revelation 20-21

Manhood in the Bible

Genesis 1:26-28
26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Genesis 2:7, 21-23
7 And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. ...21. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
John 4:24 God [is] a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship [him] in spirit and in truth.

A real man is this: a man who takes full responsibility for his actions, is the head of his household, including his wife, is considerate of others and obeys God's commandments. He is respectful of others, and puts God first in his life. He is a good provider and is a good father to his children. He is strong, yet restrained. He is outside the norm, because he doesn't have to do anything sinful to prove that he's macho or manly. Besides, a real man does not have to do this.

He does not lie, cheat, or steal, and then make excuses or justify it. He is sorry for what he has done. He knows God is a spirit who is to be worshipped. He knows the Bible, Christianity, and God are not to be trivialized. He understands commitment, fidelity, fairness, honor, responsibility, and character. That is what a man is all about.

Does it matter what we listen to?

The answer to that question is yes. Just like a Christian should not watch certain shows and films, it does matter what we listen to. Music is a universal language.

Proverbs 4:23 says "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life". Music can influence the way we dress and how we view things, especially young people. While music itself does not cause bad behavior it can have an impact on one's behavior and mood.

Some people express anger and rage through their music. Others express love, joy, and praise through their music. Christians should listen to music that uplift and glorify our Heavenly Father. We should listen to music that expresses love, joy, peace, and other fruits of the Spirit; music that is life-affirming. The most important thing to remember is that musical is a powerful to win souls to Christ or to glorify oneself.

Whether its James Cleveland or Yolanda Adams, the most important thing is the message behind the music. Also, what is also of great importance is if the professing Christian artist lives according to the Bible or according to the world. That important message is that Jesus died on the cross and rose on the third day so that all may have eternal life. He is our Savior and Lord and that one day He will return. He will judge us one day and we all have to give an account of our deeds, including "minor" details of what we have allowed in our hearts.

What is the Real Deal about Money?

Ok, it is true that the "love of money is the root of all evil". (1 Timothy 6:10) There is so much greed and corruption in this world. And all of that is because of the love of money. However, there is also a lie that because of that greed, God doesn't want us to have any money. You are more humble if you're poor. Many of these preachers also use Matthew 5:3, which says, "blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven". Jesus also talked about those who were rich. Ok, all of that is true but the word says the poor in spirit are blessed because they are humbled. He wasn't talking about money.

It is also true that you may be humble when you are poor, but you will also be frustrated and in constant need. They failed to mention that a godly man named Job and a beautiful young queen named Esther were rich. But they were also godly people who feared the Lord. These two examples in the Old Testament should tell you that how much money you make doesn't matter to God. It is the condition of the heart. The truth is, God wants us to prosper, "even as our souls prosper". It is not bad to be financially prosper but we should not neglect the weightier matters, such as the Pharisees did in Matthew 23:23-24.

Malachi 3 talks about tithing (into the storehouse) and Luke 6:38 talks about being a generous giver. However, Luke 6 wasn't talking about just money. He was talking about cause and effect in all areas of life. Take heed that the motive behind the giving is also important.

We are to use the money that we have wisely, whether it is to further God's kingdom as for providing for missionaries to preach the gospel to the poor, provide medicine to those in need, and to build churches that preach the truth. Of course, God also wants us to have money to spend for ourselves and to use it wisely. In fact, in the books of Matthew and Luke, Jesus talks about reaping and sowing, which could mean our understanding of our world. Money is also a form of stewardship as written in Matthew 25. Money in this world is a necessity but it must also be invested wisely. The steward with the one talent did not invest wisely because of his laziness and his wickedness.

Also I would be remiss if I was not forewarned if I didn't mention that there is corruption in our churches concerning money. I would also be remiss if I didn't mention that the Revelation 3:14-22 didn't mention that the church of Laodicea was a rich church, but was poor in spirit. It was a lukewarm church that was neither hot nor cold. Financially they were abundant, but spiritually they were lacking. What Jesus was talking about in John 10:10 was not about financial abundance.

He was talking about His being a Savior. He was talking about Him being the only legitimate way to salvation. There are many like the church of Laodicea who are financially abundant but who have sought Jesus as their Savior that "they may have life more abundantly".

The point to all of this is that being neither rich nor poor are sins. These are social strata in world societies. Being rich or poor doesn't make anyone any more or less a sinner than the other, for "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) Money in this world is a need that is to be invested wisely whether to a church, a charity, or a bank. Let us ponder this thought. When we leave this earth, God will not judge us by how rich or poor one is financially. He will judge us by how we have lived our lives in this planet. Are we born-again? Are our names written in Heaven? What have you done or how have you lived your life while you were on this planet? God knows who we are and what we have done. He knows who his sheep are and who his sheep arent'. (John 10:1-10) He knows the sheep from the goats (Matthew 25:31-46) who are rich, poor, etc.

How are Women Viewed in the Bible?

1 Timothy 2
"9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array
10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
14  And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the  transgression.
15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety."

Ephesians 5
"22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own  husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is thesaviour of  the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the  Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and  mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church."

Matthew 28
"5 And the angel answered and said unto the  women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified.
6 He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place  where the Lord lay.
7 And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is  risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you.
8 And they departed quickly  from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his  disciples word."

Genesis 3
"16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall  rule over thee.
17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened  unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy  sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;"

Genesis 2:20
"22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is  now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called  Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man  leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they  shall be one flesh."
 
Feminism is the belief that men and  women should have political, social, and economic equality. Feminism is on behalf of women's interests.

But it is biblical? 

I would have to say no. Why? Because men and women will  never be truly equal. Men and women are just different and that is the way we are created. Men and women have different functions. Men can't have babies, women can. Women are helpmates. That is how things are.

Women should receive fair and just  treatment, not necessarily equal. Equal doesn't always mean  better. That is what the feminists should be striving for. A woman can be a housewife and still be a good role model. It has been said a girl can be anything she wants to be. That isn't what the Bible says. It says that God is the cornerstone and we are the builders. Girls as well as boys are created to be what God wants them to be. That alone is why feminism is not in best interest of women.

God created Adam first then Eve, and that the husband is the head of the household. Men should be the leaders of their home. Young boys need male role models in their lives.  Every child should have a mother and a father, not just role models of one gender.

I believe that women should be and are strong, smart, and capable. But men too are and should be strong, smart, and capable. However, we are equal in God's sight, and we will be jugdged by equal standards.

Women have played a vital role throughout the Bible. They have been jugdes, mothers, and rulers. Women ARE to be treated "as a weaker vessel", and men ARE to love their own wives as themselves. A weaker vessel does not mean that men are smarter and stronger; however men are physically stronger as a whole than women. It entails that men are to be gentlemen and treat women with respect, honor, dignity, and delicacy, like something of valuable. He, our Heavenly Father, is the one who gave us women a plan and purpose for our lives.

However, the fact remains, we cannot change God's Word, nor should we. Our Heavenly Father  is not a male or a female. He is a Spirit. HE is to be reverenced as our Heavenly Creator, Savior, and Lord. There is no such thing as a Heavenly Mother and God should not be referred to as a she for the Bible never refers to God in the feminine.

Plans

I hope to continue on this journey of weight loss.  I am doing well so far.  I am just eating according to a plan that I have.  Hopefully it will continue to work.  So far, so good.

Weight loss journey..

The scale just isn't my friend.  I had to learn that.  I realize that I gain and lose everyday.  I hope to sincerely lose however.  I believe that weight loss is a journey.  I hope that I will stay on this past for I am much healthier than I was before.  This journey is worth it.

What is wrong with Ecumenism?

Simply put, ecumenism is when Christian denominations come together for the purposes of cooperation amongst the churches. It can also mean different religions coming together for a common goal or goals. On paper, ecumenism is a very good thing. With all of the trouble in the world and all of the anti-Christian rhetoric and persecution in the world, the church should come together.

Ephesians 4:5 states, " One Lord, one faith, one baptism." Aren't all Christians under one God? The problem with that logic is that ecumenism promotes compromise. Not all who say they are Christians really are Christians.
Not all denominations believe in things that go in line with the Lord. For example, some Baptists believe that John the Baptist helped found the Baptist Church. There is no evidence of that in the Bible.

Christians and Buddhists (as well as other religions) are also uniting to find common ground. Not a good idea. "Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers:or what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? "(2 Cor. 6:14) Christians are to fulfill the Great Commission as Jesus has said in Matthew 28. We aren't supposed to join with them. Am I saying that we should look down on or hate other who believe or worship differently? Am I also saying that we shouldn't learn or know about other religions? The answer to those questions are no.

We should respect that others believe and worship differently than we do. We should most of all love those who worship and believe differently. We should understand what their religion is about. There is no way that a Born-Again Christian who is trying to lead a Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, or New Ager to Jesus Christ without first learning what their beliefs are. We should not be ashamed, and those who believe in Jesus should not be ashamed. (Romans 10:11).

We who are true Christian believers sinneth not, because we have conquered sin. Jesus died for the sinners. The sinners are the one who are in need of the Great Physician. There is not one person that has not sinned, except Jesus Christ. Those who have not repented of their sins, are still sinning, no matter if they believe in reincarnation or not. Ecumenism is a dangerous thing for a Christian to follow. There is however, true Christian unity spoken of in God's Word. Christian unity is about true believers fellowshipping and "worshipping the Lord in Spirit and in Truth. "(John 4:23)

Being proactive

I have come to realize that there are things that I need to do. And there are things that I need to be. To do and to be can be the same thing. Even though I am being philosophical now, being proactive is something that needs to be done. I am a procrastinator who is in need of wisdom. Now I realize that these past few months, but I am learning. I don't know about you, but I am proud of myself. I cannot believe that proactivity can come from this body. Lately, I celebrate being pounds lighter. This is the classic example of being proactive.

Losing weight is not easy for me. I have PCOS, which is a hormonal condition that would affect a woman's fertility and other things. It is a decent description, but admittedly does not tell the whole story. I don't know why, but I don't identify with PCOS. I do tend to micromanage myself. That is something that I need to change. I have my light bulb moments which inspire me to do better for myself.

I wonder if I have to do what is hard for me in order to do what is easy. That means that what I didn't think I could do wasn't so hard to do all along. It was like that with dealing with obsessive thoughts. It is like that now that I have lost weight.

The Confederate Flag

Why is the Confederate Flag Often Referred to as The Southern Cross By Supporters? Why is called a flag of hate by others? Why is it such a big deal, especially in South Carolina, where the NAACP is holding a boycott of state tourism? What is the deeper meaning behind the Confederate flag and can there be a compromise and an objective view to this hotbutton issue? What does the Bible say about this issue? The flag on the left is the most-known version of the Confederate battle flag; the one on the right is the St. Andrew's cross, the Scottish battle flag.
There are obvious similarities between the two flags. The St. Andrew's cross is named as such because St. Andrew felt that he was not worthy of being crucified the way Jesus was, so he was crucified in the direction shown in the flags above.

Why the Southern Cross? The deep South have been known as the Bible belt because of its religious conservatism. By the time the Confederate Battle flag was made, Jefferson Davis was President and the Bible Belt was now the States of the Confederacy. They probably formed the Confederacy as a nation under God and the flag makers knew of the St. Andrew's Cross, it was called the Southern Cross. Southerners have defended their "lifestyle", including slavery citing religious reasons among others. (If one could give me the history as to why the Battle flag was known as the Southern Cross, email me at gngerald@yahoo.com). This website is not as much about the history of the Confederate flag as it is about the Confederate flag controversy in South Carolina from a biblical standpoint. Historically speaking, from what we know since the 1860s, there wasn't a compromise then, and the compromise won't solve anything now. Only time will tell. Hopefully I will be proven wrong.

The sad thing about what is going on these recent days concerning the Confederate Flag is anything but godly. Many who feel the flag should be left alone on top of the Statehouse or in the Confederate Memorial because of heritage. Sadly, not everyone feels the same way as these people do has demonstrated it that way. Nor does everyone agree. Many are boycotting because they feel it is a racist symbol, a symbol of slavery. This is understandable:
By around 1862 or so, the South seceeded from the Union, which started the Civil War. At that time, slavery was the center issue of all of this, if not one of the biggest issues. Black people were treated as nothing more than property. They were by law not allowed to read, write, or even marry. If the South were to win the Civil War, black people were to remain slaves for years, if not decades to come.

On the other hand, there is the issue of treason and sovereignty. Brother fought against brother. The events that led up to the Civil War and afterward did lead up to countless lives being lost and the breakup of families and thus a nation. It took four years for America to become a united, United States. Many people do believe that the flag should stay up because of the numerous lives, both black and white, lost. There is also the issue of the Native Americans. They were in support of the Confederacy not because of slavery, but because of the threat against their livelihood by the United States government, who also committed many racist atrocities. There is also true accounts of racism by the Union army against blacks as well. Many racist actions have been committed by those in the North as well as the South throughout US history. Such examples include Plessy vs. Ferguson, the displacements of many Native Americans, the Klan's terror even in the Midwest, the race riots, the One-Drop Rules and segregation by law.

This is not the opinion of one or of many. These are just objective historical facts. Sadly, not not everyone who is for the flag staying atop the Statehouse want to stay up for those reasons. There are many hate groups and many older people who use the flag for their own selfish reasons. Many of these include the Klan, many of whom were former Confederate soldiers. They are the reason for the controversy. What made it even worse was that the flag was put up on the Statehouse grounds in 1962. The controversy was that that move may have either been a symbolic "slap in the face" to those who were part of the Civil Rights Movement. The other view is that the Confederacy was enacted a century before. To be fair, I believe that not all who believe that the flag is a part of their legacy and heritage are racists.

The real answer really starts within us. In a democracy such as this one, we must be the ones who will held accountable for all of this. Togetherness is the answer: United we stand, divided we fall. We all need to learn the history of this flag. Ignorance may be bliss, but it sure isn't pretty. The Bible teaches us to love our neighbor, and our enemies. No state flag, or any other flag is worth any amount of divisiveness. Ephesians 4:26-28 writes, " Be angry, and sin not, ...nor give place to the devil." We have seen much unrighteous anger, and probably bitterness, from some on both sides of the issue. This kind of divisiveness is not of God for the whole controversy has given place to the devil.. Burning a flag is not the answer. In fact, it was needless and disrespectful . Disrespect does not breed respect. Nor does name calling, protesting the protest, or ;boycotting. It has even been proven that boycotting isn't going to change people.

We need healing. We need to learn not to tolerate, but to forgive. Let's not repeat what happened hundreds of years ago. Let's move forward. For if we all fail to learn about our history, we are doomed to repeat it.

Thoughts of oppression

The thoughts tell me that I have not gotten over it. It feeds on the thought or rather, it has created the thoughts that because I haven't stood up for myself, I should feel guilty. If I had changed this, changed that, lost more weight, done a better job, then I wouldn't have these thoughts. I have had these thoughts for years and they have gone away...temporarily, but they aren't just annoying. They are difficult to manage. Even if I manage to let the thoughts pass, they are still there. It makes me wonder if it is the Devil, the flesh, or the OCD?

Sexy vs Degrading

 what consitutes sexiness and what constitutes degrading, demeaning, or insulting to women. I have my ideas like porn, prostitution and some videos are demeaning or sexist, but I guess I am not a prude. So do what constitutes demeaning or degrading or objectifying relative to an individual or like morality, is it not relative? I am not a feminist and I believe that men and women are to be respected, but there are a lot of men and women who are degraded daily so I wonder why pick on only women as the victims and men as the degraders.

Ellen Degeneres asks men to take off their shirts. Is it fun or objectivifying? I don't know and should I care? I find myself obsessed over moral and sexual issues such as this and it is driving me "crazy". I cannot take it anymore and it is now stuck in my head. I want answers but I am afraid that I will find an answer to this question.

I find a lot of what both the men and women do in the wrestling shows are demeaning and the content of which the shows provide such entertainment.

Bra and panty matches aren't demeaning when done every once in a while, but done over and over again while there are female wrestlers who rarely wrestle that is demeaning and sexist. There are men who have literally "kissed" the male bosses' butt on television and have taken part in tuxedo matches and they in my opinion are just as degrading as gravy bowl matches. This is what the WWE used to show in the past before they went PG.

All I will have are thoughts and opinions, whether one will agree with me or not. What some may find demeaning, I find out I have no opinion on it because I simply do not care. I care more about the economy or family than what people do on tv unless I watch it, then I have the right to change the channel or cringe, then change the channel.

As a Christian, the answers should be obvious. As a woman, the answers should be obvious. But as myself, I will never truly know.

The journey of losing weight

Losing weight is most certainly a journey.  No man...or woman....is an island, especially in this said journey.  Losing weight about being accountable to another person or rather, to yourself.  The sad truth is, I don't know how much I want to weigh or how much to lose.  Right now, I am going for 80lbs at the moment.  I will be much, much healthier 80 lbs lighter.  Right now, I feel better losing over 30 lbs.

Irony of it all...rambling

I feel that today will be a day of inspiration.  I just feel like a million bucks.  I haven't been writing much lately because of the fact that I haven't been too inspired to write much.  There hasn't been too much in my life lately to inspire to be.  Ironically I still post here however and I try to daily.  There is so much I could think about and write about but right now, I am just too tired and not too inspired right now.  I wish I could be an inspiration and muse at the moment. 

Ravens won and a special birthday wish

The Super Bowl all in all was pretty good last night from beginning to end.  I finally got to catch the Super Bowl Halftime Show.  Beyonce did a good job.  I am glad that it is finally over where I can finally continue to lose weight.  I gained 2 lbs as a result of what I ate.  But I do exercise however.  So those two pounds will be off in no time.

 I also want to wish a Happy Birthday to my mother who turns 75 today.  Happy Birthday, Mom! Love ya.

Super Bowl

I really don't care who wins, but either way, the Super Bowl isn't just a game, but a story.  That is the great thing about sports, including professional wrestling.  A great match or a good game tells a story.  Any athlete worth his or her salt can and should be able to do something basic, yet a great athlete should be invested in.  Those who fans are invested in should be able to tell a story.  Go Ravens!  or is it Go 49ers!  ?

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The Price of Folly

There are many people in this world who are following their own way instead of living for the Lord. Such people are foolish and without wisdom. They are clueless as to what their end is going to be. Folly means making the wrong decisions rashly or without regards to consequences.

Solomon writes about the price of folly in the Book of Proverbs. It is interesting to note that folly is likened to a prostitute or an adulteress who leads her men to doom. She is loud, seductive, and lacks knowledge. She is not only stupid, but is arrogant and attracts those who are also simple for they lack wisdom. In other words, she advantage of those who are not watchful, for she is deceitful and the one being deceived does not realize that her way is the way to Hell for she has taken many down that road.

One who is foolish does not like rebuke nor have consider wisdom when they hear it. They do not think of the consequences of their actions. A wise person would consider his or action and realizes that for every action, there are consequences. They realize that they are not immune to the spiritual and natural laws. They know that one who sows corruption reaps corruption. They know that in scientific terms, there is an equal and opposite reaction to their actions. The end of the wise is good for they have lived life of wisdom. Even their names and memories will be blessings. The wise and righteous will be blessed going out and coming in. Those who engage in folly will come to ruin for their foolishness.

The foolish are known by their actions including their words. A foolish person speaks foolish words and therefore exposes himself or herself as foolish. Those who engage in folly are those who refuse rebuke, to do right, or to walk in integrity. Foolish people are not respected. They are often hated, scorned, or laughed at because of their ignorance. The ultimate end for a foolish person is death. In the Book of Proverbs, it is said that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. The fool does not fear God. They live according to the flesh. Their minds are carnal and love the evil that they do. They may know of the consequences but live their lives as if there are none just as long as they don't suffer.

They are selfish, lazy in doing good, and are unrepentant. Those who are unrepentant , the foolish, are those who shall have their part in the Lake of Fire as written in Revelation 20. They are outside of the great city because they were foolish enough to procrasitinate or to outright reject wisdom. All they had to do was repent, and seek God's face. All they had to do is to come to Jesus, the one true Vine, the only Way to God for salvation. He is the only One with the power to forgive sins, to save men. But because of folly, the foolish are amongst the wicked that will be outside the city as it is written in Revelation for they did not seek God. They did not ask for wisdom, which God gives liberally. They did not ask for wisdom for God guides us with His eye. But to a fool, his ways seem right, but the righteous know not to be conformed to this temporal world. Those who are foolish lack humility and when he looks for wisdom, he or she will not find it for their way is wrong. They lack prudence, grace, and are self righteous. They are annoyed easily at offence. They disgrace themselves and bring their own souls to damnation for their foolishness. Don't let this happen to you, for the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

Verses to Read: 2 Chron 7:14, Psalm 38:5,Psalm 69:4-6,Psalm 85:7-9,Proverbs 6:1-3,Proverbs 7-8, Proverbs 9:13-18, Proverbs 10, Proverbs 11:12, 14, 29, Proverbs 12:8, 15-16, 23, Proverbs 13:1-3, 15-16, 18-21, Proverbs 14:3, 6-9, Proverbs 15:2, Ecclesiastes 7:26, Galatians 5:16-26, Revelation 20-22.

My rant about black people...Yes, I am black, too.

I wrote a rant on another forum about segregation and the experiences that I had concerning segregation. I noticd that there is still racism in the US like everywhere, but I was wondering if racism comes in different forms. I do. Over 200 years ago, most blacks were enslaved and there were slave code laws. After the Civil War, black men were given the right to vote until that was taken away from them using Grandfather code laws. Then for nearly 100 years, segregation happened, except separate but equal was anything but equal for black people. It is true that there were black "Wall-Streets", black-owned businesses, black churches, and black schols, but to keep us in line, many blacks were lynched and were mistreated in other ways. Thankfully we don't have to deal with that as much anymore. Now black people have to deal with higher crime rates, mortality rates, high abortion and higher poverty rates, higher incaration rates compared to white people despite the fact that black Americans make up no more than 11-15% of the population (depending on the source and not including Africans, Middle Eastern blacks, black Latinos and Caribbeans) and also internal issues amongst the black community such as violence and colorism.

It seems as if no one else respects or ever cared about black people. Black kids compared to white kids have to deal with the soft bigotry of low expectations, seemingly uncaring teachers, media and educational bias, and stereotyping. Now, I have to ask you, what can be done to help the black community? Should we as blacks deal with what is going on in the church first, the educational system, the black-owned media, the political arena, or other issues? Racism is one of only numerous issues that black people have to deal with. As a Conservative sometimes, I feel as if I am not being heard. I think all of them can help. Black conservatives need to "come out of the closet" especially since Black Americans originally come from a rather Conservative culture that started out from Africa to the US. There is a saying in the Bible about people suffering from a lack of knowledge. I think liberalism, communism, statism, socialism, and marxism are bad for everyone, but it will disproportionately affect black Americans.

We are considered at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder despite the fact that at one time, black people originally came from two parent or extended homes and many blacks were upwardly mobile. Most black people were educated and still are, but all we hear is the high dropout rates of young black men, which is true. We read negative things in the more left-leaning media all the time. Black people are seen in a negative light and I don't believe that this is no accident and neither were the creation of the subuarbs and divested black and integrated inner cities. It has been said by the media that 1 out of 4 young black men will end up in the prison system. Yet I wonder how come we don't read or hear about the 3 out of 4 who are in college, in the military, or have two parent homes? It makes me wonder how far we have really come as black people and how much we have to go. Is it wrong to think that way? I certainly don't want to turn back to segregation, but we rarely hear about black-owned business, black role models who are doctors, good role models who are in the political arena, and such period. I think it is messed up that so many in the black community voted for a President whose views I disagree with. I thought that in today's America, character instead of skin color counts. I do wonder what Dr. King, Malcolm X, and Medgar Evers would think about what is going on in America today.