Discovering something about myself

At my age, I finally learned about discovery.  When one loses weight or tries to lose weight, it is rather strange.  There is something I know that will change and not just my body.  I am not so sure how to do that, but I realize that I don't wish to lose weight according to number.  My goal is to lose inches, and not just pounds.  I have learned that that should have been my goal all along.  I do have a rather shallow view about myself.  I can see curves, fat, and stretch marks as beautiful in others, but I don't see it in myself.  I have been looking at my body in the mirror and in a shadow for a long time.  I have done this for at least a good while for the majority of my life now.  I realize that I am beautiful and can be happy and have self-esteem even at my size.  I will be okay as long as I get thinner, but is that a message I wish to send myself?