Who is it?

I am over my obsession.  I can finally beat it.  I am doing well now and I am thankful to the Lord above.  With God, all things are possible.  I feel great.  I have learned that if something is on the back of your mind, then you are not truly over it.  I am over it and it hasn't been on the back of my mind.  The obsessive thoughts don't bother me and I feel so much better.  Who was the obsession in question?  Well, I am nervous about revealing said person so I guess it no longer matters since I am over it.  I slept well last night and everything.  I had a rough experience with a crush or two and revealing his name seems like a jinx or something. 

I am having a fear of what others may say if I were to reveal my crush/ obsession.  The man in question is an actor, and a good one at that.  He was good looking as a young man and is just as sexy now as an older guy.  He was just pretty to look at when he was younger.  Anyways, I don't know why I care so much what others think.  Do they care what I think?  No, I doubt it.  I have learned that when one cares what others think then you give them power and you lose a piece of your own self.  It is a trap and a giant one.  My world became smaller as a result.  Maybe I should be more courageous and reveal the person.

But before I reveal said person, I would like to say that confession is good for someone with OCD because it is a way of facing my thoughts head on.  It is also good for the soul and the heart because of the anxiety.  I am so anxious about revealing this person I have no idea.  It all started when I and everyone else including my friends believe that I was not the right kind of person to have a crush on such a guy.  This was back in high school.  In college, things got worse as I made a fool out of myself because I was so obsessed with this guy.  The only way that I got over that one was to be removed from the University I attended, and thus, move away from the guy.  It was a great thing that happened to me.

I got saved just before then and I realized that God revealed himself to me in difficult to understand ways, okay, rather mysterious ways.  I went to another college, graduated from said college, then went on to graduate school, and finally found out who my real friends were.  I was a lonely person who was often made fun of and taken advantage of and I am still dealing with that until this day.  I am learning to stand on my two feet.  My voice is just as important as all others and now I will reveal my current crush.  It is Mickey Rourke.  There.  I said it.  It is Mickey Rourke.