FEAR

Yesterday, I wrote about priorities.  My first priority is to God.  I am to be a faithful, fearless servant of His.  Life can be difficult but being a Christian is an exciting adventure.  I love the Lord and I told Him that I will live for Him and serve Him all the days of my life.  Living a life of dignity and character is part of what is being a believer.

Speaking of fearless, I admit that my life has been ruled by fear.  My greatest fear is fear of God and fear of the unknown.  I also admit that my fears have been religious as well as secular.  As a person with OCD, I realize that being uncertain is something that is deeply rooted, but not within myself.  It is part of the disorder.

Life I know is too short so being a Christian involves an uphill battle and fighting each and every day.  This is the case even if one doesn't feel like it.  As an American, I can only imagine what believers in other nations go through.  They are persecuted in ways that Americans will never contemplate, or will we?  I know that I am jumping from topic to topic, but fear is really the focus of today's blog.

I wish that I could get to the point where fear is all I have to fear.  I wish that I could fear God and God alone, but I realize that the fear that I have is paralyzing.  I fear others, I fear family, I fear my own shadow sometimes.  Fear is something that I have to overcome for the Good Book says that perfect love casts out fear.

I realize that we as believers have to have a sound mind, but when one is bipolar and has OCD, that is easier said than done to accomplish.  There is fear and anxiety on every corner.  Fear is the opposite of faith I realize that, for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.  That is what is like having OCD where there is much false evidence appearing real. 

I fear what others think and I have low self-esteem which may be the root of all of my fears.  That is something that I need help with.  How do I deal with this fear?  How would perfect love casts all of my fears?  I do need wisdom and strength in the tough times which seems to be every time.