Being good to myself

I need a sense of freedom.  Maybe my problem is a lack of self worth.  I am not saying that I lack dignity or have done anything degrading.  However, I feel like I am unworthy sometimes.  It is true that my self-esteem is lacking, so I tend to be very critical of myself, a lot.  I need to be a happier person, which is true.  But what is even truer is that I am not a grateful enough person.  Life is unfair, regardless of religious affiliation, and I am no exception.  There are times when I feel like I have made it hard on myself.  Why do I do that? Why?  The truth is, all I have are theories.  On the other hand, I wonder if it goes to the self-esteem thing.  I would like to be less critical of myself and more grateful.  Happiness is something that I like but I wonder now if it is overrated.  Is having fun the end all?  What should be my goal?  What should the end result be? Is happiness eternal?  What should my hope and my plan?  I have so many questions that I have only theories on, but unfortunately I will never find the true, deep answer to.