Obsessions and being a believer

It is only morning, but I felt like writing this.  I have been having obsessive thoughts I guess for most of my life and all of my adulthood.  Having these thoughts is hard and frustrating.  The blessing in disguise is that they have gotten me closer and more dependent on the Lord.  That is what is happening now.  I will always have these thoughts, and I will have to accept that and accept them.  However, I know and realize that they are only temporary compared to what happens in eternity. 

I wonder what Heaven will be like, because I don't plan on going to Hell. One of the most frustrating thoughts that I have had lasted for a long time.  It is about my going to Hell when I die.  We should all be worried about our souls and the condition of our souls.  Where are we going to end up?  Are we ready?  Have we received Christ as our Lord and Savior?  Those things that all of us should think about every day.  We must test ourselves to see if we are of the faith.  Our works and how we live our life should be proof that we are for real so to speak.

It is sad that there are many people who profess Christianity don't act like real Christians.  They are hypocrites and are among the deceived in the world.  But Jesus is their hope.  They don't have to remain how they are and where they are.  Let us take heed that no man deceives us.  I have been deceived and there are times that I feel that I behave like a total hypocrite, but God saved me from that.

I have been saved when I was a teenager.  Everything that would go wrong in my life did of course.  I feel like life was not worth living.  I was bipolar and had suicidal thoughts.  My grades were down and my roommate and I did not get along.  I even thought about or tried to commit suicide once, but decided against it.  It was a rough time.  Jesus saved me.  Now I am no longer suicidal and don't have suicidal thoughts.  I hope that I have grown much over the years.  I feel like God is a God of miracles and He certainly is.  My life is living proof.

I didn't realize that until now.  I had another light bulb moment; that was just my moment.  Maybe I can handle anything, including having obsessive thoughts.  It can be hard, but I ask God to help me do what is hard and that is to let the thoughts pass and not lelt them control me.  Being a Christian is not an easy ride.  You have to struggle and sacrifice.  I pray and wonder about those who have been truly persecuted. I cannot imagine what they are going through.  Being a Christian is the best life a person can have.