Feeling Overwhelmed is Nothing New by Yesenia Ramos

I get overwhelmed by the idea that
there are people much more successful, happier, and powerful than me
It makes me feel smaller than the smallest grain of sand in the big sahara
Because I can't be such things
I get overwhelmed by the idea of looking different, being a outsider
It's a helpless feeling
Like a fish out of water
Like a newborn baby
Like a deer in headlights
Lost, trapped, confined, unimportant, imprisoned

I get overwhelmed by the fact that my disease is life-shortening
The fear of imminent death stabs my mind and thoughts
It has me desperate to find a cure for this monstrous disability
Every faith-healer, I bet you I've gone to
Hoping I'll be one of those miraculous cases of people who turn out to walk; those cases that come on TV
Always in the end the bad starts to overwhelm me intensely
My mind fills up with thoughts of sadness
I want to be happy
But i don't know how to keep happiness permanently
Nothing in my life is permanent
Not even my abilities
I get overwhelmed 365 days a year

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