I have got to change and move on.

It is now time to stop thinking about what I keep admitting.  Admitting is only a first step.  Now it is time to do something about it.  That is a struggle that I have been having.for a long time now.  I would like to start and start now.  I have to have goals set in mind.  I want to stop being so imaginative and live in the real world.  The real world is what keeps me grounded.  I am getting too old and too caught up in my fantasies.  I have been held back partially because of them.  I have had obsessions and crushes for a long time.  Now it has gone too far.  One of them is about someone who has died.  To look at his grave is quite sobering and quite sad.  He seems alive but I know he is not.  That is what bothers me.  He is gone.  I wonder about his soul.  Is he in peace or will he suffer?  What kind of person was he?  I never met him and that is partially what is making this so strange and rather sad.