The seriousness of being a diabetic

I am doing much better today.  Well, maybe now.  I wasn't fatigued, but I was just tired.  My body was just out of it.  I wasn't feeling all that well.  I have another blog which will explain this, but I am a diabetic and it is not cool.  It is scary.  It is not fun.  It is serious.  I realize that I have had hypoglycemia.  I felt like I wanted to eat just anything that will up my numbers.  There is just nothing cool about diabetes, no matter how much one has been a diabetic.  I am really scared that my diabetes is advancing and that is not a good feeling to have.  Diabetes is something to be taken seriously.  I realize that now.  I don't want the needles.  I certainly don't want to be at risk for worse than that, such as the gangrene and the amputated limbs.  I often focus on having bipolar and anxiety but I need to focus more on the diabetes in these blogs as well.

Exhausted, tired, fatigued

For at least 12 hours or so from last night to today, I was more than tired.  I was fatigued.  I was exhausted.  My brain was tired.  I don't remember the last time I had this issue.  I wasn't scared at all, but it came upon me suddenly.  Having a tired brain is no fun, not fun at all.  I have suffered from some of the classic symptoms for a few days, but depression could also be a cause, so could having anxiety.  Strangely enough despite the tiredness, my mind was calmer and I wasn't feeling anxious. I guess that is a plus.  However, it is really a negative.  I need to slow down, which can be hard for me to do. Meditation is quite a challenge, but I guess it can be done.

Before and after

Ever since I was a kid, I wanted a shorter torso.  Somehow, I have always hated the way that I looked.  I was put on diet after diet after diet since I was before a teenager.  I would lose weight only to gain it back.  I realize that right now, I look like this guy in the left (same guy I know).  I would also like to be the guy on the right.  My question is are fat people lazy?  Are thin people more attractive and harder working?  It is one thing to be out of shape, but it is another thing to stereotype a person because of their overall looks.  That is what has happened to me.  I am not a fat acceptance person because of the health risks.  I am risking this as I sound like a hypocrite, but my point is, I don't think that a fat person is necessarily an out-of-shape, unattractive, lazy glutton who have no respect for themselves.  Stereotypes don't have to be realistic because one can be out of shape, seen as unattractive, lazy, and gluttonous, regardless of size.  We should all be in the best shape we can be and love and respect regardless of our overall sizes.  If all of us were in shape, then there will still be diversity.  I believe that the war on obesity should be not just about looks, but about health, fitness, and overall well-being, whatever that would mean to individuals.  I would personally rather live a healthy lifestyle with a healthy mindset and a healthy body than a person who has dieted so much that they ended up frustrated.  Weight loss can very well be frustrating and even difficult, but it can be done, even with someone like myself.  My point is, I hate that I am and will be viewed by some as a before picture, but it has been that way since I was a kid.  I guess I have missed the point.  

"Somebody Prayed for Me" by Dorothy Norwood

[Verse 1:]

Somebody prayed for me, had me on their mind,

They took the time and prayed for me.

I'm so glad they prayed [x2],

I'm so glad they prayed for me.

[Verse 2:]

My mother prayed for me, had me on her mind,

She took the time and prayed for me.

I'm so glad she prayed [x2],

I'm so glad she prayed for me.

[Verse 3:]

The preacher prayed for me had me on his mind,

He took the time and prayed for me.

I'm so glad he prayed [x2],

I'm so glad he prayed for me.

The Christian Walk and the Narrow Road

Today was or is very hard.  I had no idea what to reflect on today.  It seems that sometimes reflections of one's life can be difficult.  It sounded strange what I just wrote.  However, one's reflection is a mirror of one's physical self.  But does or can it mirror one's soul?  I don't know that, not at all.  I ought to know, but the Lord knows better..  I guess that is correct because God knows who is truly of Him and who is truly not a believer in Christ.  "Not everyone who says to me Lord, Lord, shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven.".  To me that is a scary verse, yet I see that there is a connection between that and the narrow road.  Sadly, very few will find it.  Those who were being deceived into thinking they were truly born again have walked a broad road to destruction.  That is scary and so sad.  The truth is, only a small percentage will enter Heaven one day.  My goal is to walk the narrow road and to serve the Lord faithfully.  Another goal that I have is to be obedient and enduring.  Obedience and endurance are also the marks of a true Christian.  Sadly, few will find it. 

Jesus or Silver and Gold

I personally would rather have Jesus, than silver and gold.  That is something that would be hard for most people, especially, to grasp.  I had to realize that Jesus will be the judge.  Money is nice to have, but we all need some change to make it.  Money is that piece of paper or coin that controls our lives.  The Bible states that the rich is never satisfied.  This is from a wise man named Solomon, who was the son of King David.  Solomon had all of the money in the world but was wise for he asked for that wisdom so that he could run his domain in Israel wisely.  Solomon was a wise king indeed.  However, money won't judge, but like I said, Jesus will one day.  Jesus was born to a young virgin girl, who was betrothed to Joseph, but He was born of God and was God Incarnate.  He died for us.  We really really have nothing to worry since God is the supplier of all needs whether or not the need is money, more wisdom, or salvation.  The thing about money is that while it is important in this life, all things will pass away.  The riches of the world will not compare to the riches that Jesus has and will have and provide for his bride.  The truth is, while one works hard for what they have, they will never be able to take that to their grave.  Money cannot and will not save us.  That is a hard message to many but it is true.

My take on Philippians 4:8-9

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I have struggled for years to apply this verse to my situation, no matter what is going on.  I have had obsessive compulsive disorder for a number of years.  In fact, I may have had it for most of my life. It is so difficult to try to maintain whenever a thought comes along.  The video at least explains what God's Word has been telling me all along.