OCD and learning a language

I have had so many dreams for myself.  I prayed about those dreams.  It seems as if reality gets in the way of things. In my dreams, I am a student who has traveled the world, particularly in Brazil.  The reason why Brazil is scary is the wildlife.  It was raining spiders at one point.  Yikes.  That was when I stopped wanting to go, much less wanting to learn Portuguese.  However, I still want to learn a foreign language like Spanish. Yesterday, I was watching a telenovela from Mexico and it took me back a few years.  I don't know why, but I recall that has happened.  I forgot.  I was impatient and suffered from obsessive compulsive disorder. The obsessive thoughts it seems, could have ruined my life but also me.  It hasn't but it hasn't been easy. Now I think it is time for me to learn Spanish and maybe another language.  My goal is to learn Spanish and become a polyglot.  I wish that I had that skill.

Learning a language

There are a lot of things that I wish to do today.  There are also quite a few things that I wish to do because I feel like it.  Exercise and learning Spanish is one thing.  I wish I was a polyglot.  It would be nice to learn more than one language.  I have a hard time learning Spanish the traditional way.  I don't have that kind of patience.  It is frustrating to learn even the simplest language.  It isn't impossible, but I do that conjugation in Spanish is about taking a lot of twists and turns.  I learned some Spanish in high school, and it wasn't so hard then.  However, I wish I were a child again.  Children can pick up different languages much quicker than an adult can.  Children I guess are more sensitive and thus, it is easier to learn.  I tried to learn Portuguese last year or two ago and needless to say, it was very hard to learn.  However, I met some interesting people online.  They tried to teach me and to help me learn.  Later on, I just gave up.  This time, I don't and I promise myself that I will not give up.

Keep it simple

Today might as well be a re-post from yesterday.  I am not doing and feeling well.  I need to learn how to keep it simple.  I am just nervous right now.  However, I am in need of just facing my fears.  I just make things too complicated.  Now it is time to make things un-complicated.

Tired for now

Today I meant to write a recipe for my new found chili.  Okay, someone else made the recipe first.  So they beat me first.  It was a ground beef-pork sausage chili.  I am a decent enough cook to where my mother wanted second helpings.  I usually write out recipes but I just don't feel like it today.  I am here to write that I am not lazy but sometimes I get tired.  I get tired every once in a while.  Who doesn't?  However I need to refuel myself, I will keep writing my blogs today.

Today, I am doing a braid out

I just did a braid out and I have no clue how it will turn out.  So far, they haven't turned out as I liked.  My hair is curly so I guess it will be wavy or curly.  I am right. I just didn't like how my curly/wavy hair turned out.  It was not good, at least for me.  I really had no idea how to style a braid out much less straighten my hair.  My hair frizzes up whenever I try to straighten my hair.  Needless to say, I am glad that it is summer.

Well, I am doing another braid out.  However, the last braid out, the one I did yesterday didn't turn out as well as I liked.  However, yesterday's was experimental.  Today's braid out is not.  I would like to see if it actually works.  Yesterday I didn't start with clean, conditioned hair.  I love to braid hair, my own hair.  I would like to know if I braid out works.  I did and so far, my braid out is working.  I have been looking at videos of tutorials online and I now see what more I needed to do.  I have finally done it and my goal is that I will not be a "victim" of a bad hair day.

Braid outs

I just did a braid out and I have no clue how it will turn out.  So far, they haven't turned out as I liked.  My hair is curly so I guess it will be wavy or curly.  I am right. I just didn't like how my curly/wavy hair turned out.  It was not good, at least for me.  I really had no idea how to style a braid out much less straighten my hair.  My hair frizzes up whenever I try to straighten my hair.  Needless to say, I am glad that it is summer.

Writing and change

There are 6 blogs including this one that I author daily.  At least that is supposed to create and write daily. Author is such a great term.  Speaking of the word author, I have at one time written a series of poems and short stories over the years.  I now wonder why I have stopped.  I was once a kind of person who either doesn't finish what she has started or I just procrastinate.  The reason being was that I was hard on myself because I have this rigid, perfectionist personality that I believe has held me back.  In other words, I have done a fabulous job of allowing myself to be held back.  I do tend to be negative on myself and I realize that that has got to change.  I am changing minute by minute day by day.  I can see and feel the results.  I am more honest, open, and my mind even clearer.  That is now how I feel about change.  I was a person who hated change.  I wasn't used to change.  I like things just the way they are.  I was comfortable when there was no change.  Change just made me uncomfortable.  But life is about change and life isn't about comfort and so there is no use crying over being uncomfortable because every thing and every one changes.  That is just a part of life.