Reflections of 2013

To tell you the truth, 2013 has been a rather interesting year.  I have had my share of ups and downs.  I am sure we all had our share of ups and downs.  However, I am also sure that this past year has had plenty of both ups and downs for me.  I am reminded of all of the people who have lost ones, and those who are lost. I wish I could help everyone and give them a hug....so to speak.  From my obsession to my weight, I am glad that in a few hours, a new year reigns.  Hopefully I will learn more in 2014 than I had this past year.  On the other hand, I wouldn't trade my year for anything.

Health is important

I am feeling so much better now.  God has given me what I needed, not what I wanted.  I gave up on myself yesterday and that does me no good.  I am a diabetic and I have a desire not only to lose weight, but to also eat healthy.  A diabetic who eats unhealthy and not care is being foolish or in denial.  It is very straightforward and that is how I feel.  I am motivated to lose weight because I have motives.  I want to lose weight for my own reasons and I know that I can benefit from losing weight.  Giving God control is best for a spiritual path.  I do wonder, however, if being or eating healthy means taking care of God's temple?  I wonder if someone who is not taking care of themselves defiling our bodies spiritually.  Could it mean something else?  I am just wondering.

Taking stock continues

I have and am continuing to, take stock of my life.  There was a lot of unforgiveness and holding on to the past.  It was the root of my fear.  Things have changed over the years, and not always for the better.  That was the source of my problems.  I always felt like walking on eggshells because I hate confrontation.  Maybe I should love it more because pro-activity is what I need to do.

Taking stock

I realize that I need to take a long, hard look at my life. I know that I have written various posts and said various prayers, but I have come to realize that I have to take stock of my life or else I will be stuck or worse.

I have been on meds for a long time for a variety of conditions.  It has been rough because it can be frustrating, but they are necessary for me to function.  I am overweight and I am a diabetic who is diagnosed as having PCOS.  I admit that I have not been taking care of myself over the years.

I wonder if I could accept the fact that I have bipolar disorder, then why is it so hard to have to accept that I have OCD.  Having OCD is no joke.  I have dealt with it, but that is all I had to do.  My response has always been "I can't take it anymore".  How to let the thoughts pass or embrace that I have these thoughts is very hard.

As mentioned earlier, I am overweight.  I have gained a lot of weight back and now I wonder how much of a toll my weight has taken.  I want, need, and desire to lose weight.  The problem is, I have no clear set goals. I have a lot of issues to deal with.  I need to take a lot of time to take stock of my life.  I need, want, and desire to change.

The day after Christmas

Today is the day after Christmas.  I had a pretty good Christmas yesterday.  I ate way too much food, but at least I received great gifts.  I do hate it when it has to end.  But today wasn't so bad however.

I was wondering if I will ever get to know any celebrity.  I would like to meet some but I cannot recall their names at the moment.  The truth is, I am not sure if I will like these people.  I am sure these are nice folks, but they are just that: folks.  I don't know the people that I will ever obsess or have an idealization about people.  Why am I writing this?  It has been a theme of mine for almost all year long.  I will never get to know any of these people realistically nor should I care.  They are just people after all.  In the grand scheme of things, it is all vanity.

Merry Christmas!

I love this story.

Christmas is About Christ, or is it?

This is truly my favorite time of the year!

Pumpkin crumb pie with caramel sauce

Courtesy of kidscooking

Ingredients for pie filling
1 can pumpkin
1 large egg
3/4 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
2 Tbsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. nutmeg
1 1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
1 Tbsp. flour
3/4 cup milk
1/3 cup melted butter or margarine

Ingredients for crumb topping
1 stick butter or margarine
1 1/2 cup self-rising flour
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1 cup brown sugar
2 Tbsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. nutmeg

Ingredients for caramel sauce
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup water
1 cup milk
1 stick butter

Directions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  In a large bowl mix all of the ingredients of the pie filling until it is well-incorporated and the batter is smooth.  Set aside.

To make the caramel sauce mix the white sugar and water over medium heat in a medium sized pot or pan. Stir often until the syrup turns brown.  Then add in the brown sugar, and the butter.  Stir until butter is melted and the brown sugar dissolves. Slowly pour in the milk for the syrup will be hot. It is best to take the pan or pot off of the stove to add the milk and then stir until the milk is well-incorporated.  Once well-incorporated, take the caramel mixture off of the stove and set aside.

In a deep baking dish, pour in the pumpkin mixture which was set aside earlier.  Bake in the oven for 30 minutes.

While it is cooking, in a small bowl, mix all of the ingredients for the crumb topping.  Make sure the ingredients are well-incorporated.  Set aside for now.

Once the 30 minutes are up, take out the pie.  Set the pie on a cooling rack and drizzle some of the caramel sauce on top of the pie.  Then add the crumb topping on top of the pie making sure the pie is fully covered. Bake again for another 25 minutes at 375 degrees until the pie is well-set in the center. Once the pie is taken out of the oven, place pie on a cooling rack and let it "rest" for 10 minutes.  Once the 10 minutes are up, then drizzle again with more caramel sauce and let the pie continue to cool.  Once cooled, serve.